Today, my dentist pulled the wrong tooth. FML

Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML

Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth pulled. When I woke up I found out they pulled the wrong one. FML

Snap!

Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML