Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a coworker told me I was "fat shaming" them by discussing weight loss with other coworkers. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying, "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML
Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML
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Top comments
TheNinjaCat 10
Say "if that's so, why isn't he after you?"
cookie_3008 4
Sit on her.
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Comments (131)
Luciens19 0
YDI for being chubby
Random_ChickXD 0
Oh wow. Your boss is a jerk.
FarSide 23
A real MFSOB. Report both of them to HR.
Stonedmanalex 0
OP is a jerk, Why not just tell that coworker you don't dig him. Instead of possibly getting him introuble
TalkinSmack 6
Maybe she has told him that's she's not interested... And really, work is for working, not looking for dates. He overstepped the coworkers boundaries, so who cares if she gets him in trouble. Why should she feel uncomfortable for his inaopropriate conduct?
Keyman1212 14
I have the impression OP's boss is probably joking, the whole 'looked me dead in the eye' bit gave me that impression. There was a Chief Petty Officer under me who used to do these real serious bits, where he'd call people into his office, and yell and rant at them, then give them their promotion. He was a funny ol' ******.
every1luvsboners 11
Keyman, no one cares about your shitty little stories and how they don't relate to the FML. Start your own thread, octodouche.
enopola 5
His chief petty officer was "under him" being snorkeled, what happens in the navy, stays in the navy. Real cool Eric Massa.
Spritemazter 0
37- Hey that same petty officer says no one cares.
metallicatime 0
That's something micheal Scott would say
itsame0987 18
I get so tired of women, yes I am female, who run and tell the boss on men who tell a joke they don't like or flirt with them. It's ridiculous be an adult and talk to him first, if he doesn't stop give him a final warning that you are going to the boss. Ydi op or being one of those annoying whiney women.
Marcella1016 32
61 - for some reason I read that as "anal warning"
cheefer 0
40, the only reason you have 10 thumbs up is because you're famous on FML. Other than that your comment is rude.
Toowoo 3
I think someone's jealous cuzz they arent popular lol
sexybeastsexybea 0
umm isn't a chubby also a hard-on? maybe that's what she meant. (:
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Did anyone care to notice that her name is ALSO "Chubby"?
cheefer 0
It's more like, "get of his nuts". It's what makes this place such a pussy farm. And not the good kind of pussy. I like that kind.
Yoyolol_fml 3
Lose some w8 m8
enopola 5
Stupid bad kind of pussy farm. Everybody getting of his nuts, like squrriels and shit.
TheNinjaCat 10
Say "if that's so, why isn't he after you?"
livlafluv100 2
Thats funny. But then he would get fired.
TheNinjaCat 10
*She Yeah, it's a shame people can't speak their mind in the workplace.
Eenonymous 1
Only if the boss wants a lawsuit...
TheNinjaCat 10
:')
Freeze_fml 17
There's no concrete evidence that the boss is fat.
nerdchic 5
It was a smart remark back dumbass..
Freeze_fml 17
Because baseless insults are "smart" remarks, dumbass.
TheNinjaCat 10
If you werent so jumped up your own ass, you'd of taken it with a punch of salt, pal
Freeze_fml 17
The phrase is "pinch of salt," pal. I don't see how you could infer I was "jumped up [my] own ass" from my completely neutral comment, but it's expected from someone who makes baseless claims.
Marcella1016 32
Cool your jets guys. And it's "grain of salt." Now we can all sit back and play nice :)
ikickgingers 15
"to take a statement with a 'grain of salt' or a 'pinch of salt' means to accept it but to maintain a degree of skepticism about its truth" Pinch, grain, but no punch... Bishes :D
Eenonymous 1
Sounded like you were correcting her to me #70. And I like "punch of salt". It's a play on words here people. #41 SERIOUSLY?!! What's the point? Does someone have issues or what? Oh well, I'm sure you're already in therapy for it.
Chaos187 6
*grabs popcorn* This is better than tv.
livlafluv100 2
Looks like there's a grammar Nazi on the loose!
TheClumsiest 0
u peeple and ur gramar xP
cheefer 0
^^we need a gas chamber for these chronic misspellers. Why do you hate the English language so much?
TheNinjaCat 10
Good god people, relax :)
BarrelChick 0
There's also no evidence that the employee is fat
TheNinjaCat 10
126 excuse me lovely, but it was a joke. Ever heard of one of those things? It's what people sometimes, laugh, smile, or giggle at. Sometimes this procedure can occur inside the head too, if you are in a public place and do not want to be seen as a little odd, just laughing at an electronic device. A good day to you, ma'am, even though I'm British :)
banemask 14
And lose a job?
heathz 9
next thing you know he will be watching you eat your lunch.
J3R3MYY 14
Thats a lv 5 stalker there.
BigBacker 0
That's frowned upon? Uh oh...
DKParth13 5
Like a boss!!
heathz 9
Ha your comment made me "lol"
heathz 9
Ha your comment made me "lol"
cookie_3008 4
Sit on her.
godlike1 5
Cute pic :3
Fruit_Dealer 9
I see where you're going 5.. When you think about it, there are only win/win possibilities : 1. Say "If I'm chubby, then you won't be able to stand up." 2. Sit. 3. a) Boss can't stand up, problem solved. b) Boss can stand up = you're not chubby.
angrymexican 8
Right on her head
karinabeby 0
Harsh lol.
NomOnShroomz 14
Very thought out comment lol.
StormGirl142 24
Don't let her get you down, OP :)
cheefer 0
Because she won't go down...because she's chubby and it might taste like raw spinach! Eww
sailoroftheseas 7
hit your boss around a bit, that'll teach him.
iamyourgod 3
It's a her
sailoroftheseas 7
oh well
EmreArslan 11
O.o you boss owned u and seems to have a thing for that person
NomOnShroomz 14
Grammar. So. Atrocious. Hurts. To. Read.
s0m3guy2010 21
And this is a bad thing? Everyone knows that fat bottomed girls make the rockin world go round.
markrs 0
Well duh, they cause the motion in the ocean ;p
ejjamael 5
yeah cause it a long trip in a conoe