Today, my teen son and his friends catfished a woman in her forties so they could laugh at her when she got to the restaurant. I'm beyond furious. The poor woman was humiliated, but did my wife care? No, she only got mad at them for using her credit card to sign up to the dating app. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a woman turned up uninvited at my house, ready for our first date. After some embarrassed investigating, it turns out my mother signed me up to Tinder and arranged a date, all without telling me, because she refuses to believe I prefer solitude over dating. FML
Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
Today, I was at dinner with my boyfriend and his family. We were talking about relationships, and I commented on how online dating was the dumbest thing ever. His mom and step-dad went on to tell me how they had met through an online dating service. FML
Today, I told my 15 year-old son that I was taking my wife to a fancy restaurant for her birthday, so he would be on his own tonight. Most teenagers would play video games, watch porn, and sneak a beer, which I would be okay with. He started crying and asked why he was "left out", then clung to my wife's leg. FML
Today, I had a Tinder date with a girl who lied about her age; she was 22 but had told me she was 37. She used the word “like” seven times in the same sentence and and announced she expected me to pay her entire bill. I just walked away, so she threw a waiter's tray at the back of my head. FML
Today, I found out that my 14-year-old son spent hundreds of dollars on what appears to be a misogynist multi-level marketing hustlers' website. How did he pay for this horseshit, and how did I found out? My PayPal account sent me emails, telling me that several purchases had been made, but too late for me stop them. FML
Today, I spent yet another lunch venting to my best friend about how much I hate my teenage son's girlfriend, thinking he should be with someone less outspoken. Apparently she got tired of listening because she eventually snapped, "Oh for god's sake, just admit you want to fuck your son already!" and left. FML
Today, my teen son came home in a terrible mood because his girlfriend won’t listen to him. I thought he meant conversation-wise, but he meant she refused to obey his commands about what clothes and makeup she wears, who she can talk to, where she can go, and so forth. My son is an asshole. FML
Today, our daughter has actually been dating a decent guy, compared to the usual losers, and was going to meet his parents. My wife put her foot in it by repeating over and over again how important meeting the parents is. She psyched her out so bad, she cancelled meeting his parents and dumped him. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
So you’re both pissed off at your son for different reasons. Can you mutually agree that military school is an appropriate punishment?
Hangryko 32
Nip this in the bud now. He loses his internet privileges on all devices indefinitely. He has to pay back the money by getting a part time job and apologize to your wife and the woman, or you go to the cops. As for your wife, she could be upset about the credit card because she's embarrassed that she indirectly had a hand in the deception (at least, I hope that's why).
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Maybe they cut your wife in on the money they made from the victim?
poopface82 25
So you’re both pissed off at your son for different reasons. Can you mutually agree that military school is an appropriate punishment?
Thaylok 17
While I agree with this. the kid will likely be the instigator on another Tail Hook...
Chazzster 32
You and your wife failed at raising your son as a decent human being. You should all be ashamed.
Hangryko 32
Nip this in the bud now. He loses his internet privileges on all devices indefinitely. He has to pay back the money by getting a part time job and apologize to your wife and the woman, or you go to the cops. As for your wife, she could be upset about the credit card because she's embarrassed that she indirectly had a hand in the deception (at least, I hope that's why).