Today, my ex-girlfriend, who is obviously still in love with me, is best friends with my mom. Now every time I come home, she is over. She even spent 4 hours helping us decorate our Christmas tree, and now she is telling my little sister about our love life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ex girlfriend is sleeping over at my house. At some point while she was preparing to dump me, she became best friends with my sister. FML
Today, my mom called me to tell me she'd got in touch with my ex for his birthday, and that the two of them had made a plan for us to get back together. My new boyfriend was in the process of proposing to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, my mom is coming to pick up the Christmas presents we got for her and her husband. She won’t come inside or come within 6 feet, so she can be healthy when she goes down to the ex-wife’s parents house to hang out. The ex in-laws that hate me. Glad my mom chose them over me. FML
Today, I saw a text from my mom asking, “Are you still with that girl from last year? I miss her.” She was talking about my ex. The girl I’m dating now saw the message before I did. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend was having lunch with my parents. Believing she was in love with me and feeling the same, I dropped by. My parents told me that she’s their friend and that she has a boyfriend that they approve of, all while telling me I was never good enough for her. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the, "I know I'm not your mother…" speech. FML
Today, my mom still spends time with my ex because, as she puts it, we might be divorced now but there’s no reason they can’t still be friends. This is the woman who tricked me into raising another man’s baby for three months before I got suspicious and got a paternity test. Screw you mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend just moved in with his mom. They've been in my face knitting and baking bread together. FML
Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML
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Top comments
Judus_beej 0
did she cut out the pictures in the house of your new girlfriend and replace them with her yet?
xFMILYFEx 0
whoa that ***** crazy....it took you 4 hours to decorate your tree
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Comments (85)
Dominoz 0
sucks
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
just throwing it out there...threesome?
DahkLohd 4
So...were you hoping that the kid would **** his mom, or **** his sister?
airforce987 20
restraining order. problem solved
labratory5 0
11 that's the best and only way how to do it
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
#23 knows what's up
Hughmadd 0
Thank you for your very original and creative comment, number 7
Judus_beej 0
did she cut out the pictures in the house of your new girlfriend and replace them with her yet?
sloppyflow 1
^^ this one. win. hah
Mons_fml 27
ooiooohiih japooooii!
Patrick69_fml 0
yeah I think you and him and your mother should "talk" it out on a bed if you know what i'm getting at here maybe that will relieve the frustration... I mean it's nit his fault that your mothers more attractive then you lol jks dump him and first
Sadochan 0
The ex is a chick and you fail at getting first.
brianjman14 23
1. The ex is a girl. 2. "Not" isn't spelled "nit." 3. You're not first. OP, she's obviously just doing this to try and get with you and make you feel uncomfortable even in your own home. She doesn't have any right to make you uncomfortable, but you have every right to tell her to back the **** off. Make her leave whenever she's over, OP.
mintcar 10
4. Than not then. [ Insert punctuation where needed.] I'll leave the rest to the grammar crazies. I'm in class. OP, FYL. Talk to your mother about how uncomfortable she makes you feel. She's being almost psycho here. it's time for her to let you go.
mintcar 10
I*
Patrick69_fml 0
haha wrong thread completly haha
Patrick69_fml 0
this was about the thread including the boyfriend and the pictures of his "knob" being sent to the girlfriends mother etc I wouldve been first on that friend but #28 you can correct me anytime if you know what I mean ;)
perdix 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You need to get back together with her. You're not going to do any better than her, you loser.
SARSvirus79 0
She is "obviously" still in love with you? Egotistical much? Maybe she just likes your family...
SmallTownCutie 0
My thoughts exactly. She doesn't have to love you to be around your house. If your parents don't care, there obviously isn't an issue.
JCiarkowski7 3
She (ex-girlfriend) is telling him (ex-boyfriend) about their love life! P.S. They are broken up. Weirdo's Ville!
KtKD54 2
If shes best friends w/ ur mom, wouldnt that give something away that she may just like ur family?
Lifeisntfair13 0
OP till that bitch to get out. And OP you should make it clear to her that it's over for good. sorry OP
turturkeykey 0
Quit saying OP so much you biscuit eating bulldog!
Judus_beej 0
tell*
mintcar 10
What's wrong with biscuits? American and British biscuits are quite delicious.
tralalafifa 0
wooow. wtf
chocchipcookies 0
I would sleep with one eye open if I were you ...^.-
yourdumbbb 0
stage 5 clinger, and wow are you an idiot a 3 sum? with his mom or sister? incest inbred red neck shit