wtfdaughter
Recife, Brazil
Today, my daughter put a doll in the microwave "to keep her warm". She's 17. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Applecross, Australia
Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML
Anonymous
Fremont, United States
Today, I left my daughter with a babysitter for the first time. When I came home, my microwave was ruined because they had attempted to heat cans of Play-Doh as a science experiment. FML
grrrrrr
United States
Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML
jimmy
Orangeville, Canada
Today, my 5-year-old son put my car keys in the microwave thinking that they would 'warm up' my car. FML
Anonymous
Gainesville, United States
Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML
sunil
Calgary, Canada
Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Twisted firestarter
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Anonymous
Little brat
Today, my 14 year-old daughter is so selfish that on her sister's birthday, she found the present, assumed it must be for her, opened it, then destroyed it when she saw it was frozen Anna and Elsa dolls because she hates Frozen. Her sister loves Frozen, and hasn’t stopped crying over Anna’s severed head. FML
baldspot
Australia
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
DeepFriedLettuce
Vashon, United States
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Top comments
WeLikeIke 23
10 years later: "Mommy, I'm cold!" "Here, Here, Timmy, let's get cozy in the oven!" NEWS ALERT: Mother of one faces charges after attempting to kill son with an.. Oven?
Mynamewontfi 40
And won't breed.
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Comments (97)
GIGA_IMPACT 15
I wonder if your daughter will go in the oven to keep herself warm
j_cat187 20
Must ... resist... holocaust joke.
dietbacon 13
pernambuco is like a thousand degrees right now, I don't think she'd need to. Because of that, I also think this fml is just plain bullshit
Joshwarrior 39
Damnit your comment made Happy tree friends come to mind :/ and here I thought I managed to lock those memories away.
weveallbeenthere 30
but did it work. I'm sure your daughter will go far in life.
ProfessorMctitie 20
You liar
vikky538 29
let's hope she will graduate...
EvilLittleMan 23
... and not procreate.
photographer49 22
#4 you want to let her out into the world?
CandyApple88 13
when she tilts her head sideways, does sawdust fall from her ears? Time to change the carpeted floors for lino/tiles.
WeLikeIke 23
10 years later: "Mommy, I'm cold!" "Here, Here, Timmy, let's get cozy in the oven!" NEWS ALERT: Mother of one faces charges after attempting to kill son with an.. Oven?
mightycocoman 12
That's happened before.
Roskosity 22
That's so morbid. Better educate her the best you can now or look forward to French fried grand babies.
PePziNL 20
French Fried Grandbabies is an awesome name for a rock / metal band
The_Village_Idio 6
Um, that's certainly a creative way of going about it...
nchic01 17
well hopefully she didn't turn it on!
Emzinatorbot 26
"Hey idiot did you just blow in from stupid town?"
expertsmilee 26
Hey pal*
Nameless_Fellow 11
*Insults daughter's intelligence* BURN!!
Ethan_Anonymous 28
I hope she is good looking.
teyyoshi 19
why ？
ptoka 20
She can be the sexiest, most attractive girl ever, but you still can't fix stupid.
Mynamewontfi 40
And won't breed.