Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
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Top comments
slkeithh 14
..... and you just kept the dog in the room with you? idiot.
RichardPencil 32
Your girlfriend must be exhausted trying to blow such a limp dick. Put the dog in another room, outside, or in its crate while you get a *******. The dog can be inconvenienced for 30 seconds or so until you shoot your wad.
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Comments (9)
RichardPencil 32
Your girlfriend must be exhausted trying to blow such a limp dick. Put the dog in another room, outside, or in its crate while you get a *******. The dog can be inconvenienced for 30 seconds or so until you shoot your wad.
Aiden89 23
Man’s best friend, huh?
slkeithh 14
..... and you just kept the dog in the room with you? idiot.
benjamn 24
The dog is jealous. all those times with peanut butter "treats" for Fido.
Kent Griffin 3
they say a dog is man's best friend I don't think s0
BurnInDemonFire 39
He wanted you to do it his style.
Jonkbaby 23
wtf, animals go out of the room during sexytime