Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML
Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he could get me lunch on his way back home. Long story short, he came back empty handed telling me it was my fault for trusting him with McNuggets. FML
Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
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Top comments
dum_dum1 0
you should have just caught a ride with some friends and had them drop you off down the road. work smarter not harder. dumbass!!
zDylanz 6
If only every American would do this, mabey we could decrease our nation's obesity.
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Comments (382)
DeadxManxWalking 27
2 hrs
UnDerThEcaRpEt 0
what are you a little girl? My cardio training requires that I run 20 miles not stop in two intervals of 10 miles on the same day. You sound like a fat kid with daddy issues
FlaminqoBADd 0
Sucks to be you
WhateverFloatsYo 0
She could be really skinny, she was probably wearing flats or heels..
divya_sucjs 0
dad as usual
thefriendlyc 0
you walk slow as hell and, quit complaining it was good for you and most people, myself included, work out every day. if it hurt that much you may want to consider losing some fat and gaining muscle.
poopydutchman 2
honestly I must say even though I'm a distance runner, RUNNING 8 miles sucks. walking it wouldn't be too bad but it's still kind of a far distance to travel on foot
KeNzLe13 0
8 miles. Not 2.
Pinson18 0
7 is clearly trying to convey something known as humor. look up fleshlight on google then come back here and try to imagine what the joke means. jump next time and maybe, just maybe, you'll catch it before writing a comment that show's everyone your age, because you obviously want to hide your age from everyone on here.
TraceCase_ 19
It's a cruel, cruel world we live in (one only needs to read FML comments to know how cruel). Ya seem a little gullible. Best u learn these life lessons from your father while your still young. That which doesn't kill u only makes I stronger, right?