Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML
Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he could get me lunch on his way back home. Long story short, he came back empty handed telling me it was my fault for trusting him with McNuggets. FML
Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
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Top comments
dum_dum1 0
you should have just caught a ride with some friends and had them drop you off down the road. work smarter not harder. dumbass!!
zDylanz 6
If only every American would do this, mabey we could decrease our nation's obesity.
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Comments (382)
portulinus 0
Do you think your life sucks because you didnt get the money or because you feel dumb as hell?
FTang 0
me gusta.
JanisEvans 10
It takes you 2 hours to walk 8 miles? Are you walking backwards?
MrBobby_fml 7
2 hours to walk 8 miles ain't bad for someone unfit, but you shouldn't have had blisters from 2 hours walk lol... yeah maybe you should try walking home more often. ps a bike turns 8 miles into a pretty easy manual journey.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
It is someone's shoes that usually cause blisters, not the act of walking itself. The OP could go walking for five hours a day and until their feet are covered in callouses they would still wind up with blisters.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
As long as they keep that same pair of shoes.
LetItRise 0
your dad slayed you kidd
Proudmary 2
I was going to make fun of OP for taking so long to do 8 miles, before I realised they were miles and I have no idea how much that is.
quantumtap 0
i just popped the first blister ive had in four years, and thats after walking to the river every week, 16km, or 10 miles for u yankes
XarkXangelX 0
dumdick
Farankusu 0
shifty shifty shifty shiftshade. mindset. peerless. dead eye ixion ready to scavenge. @boner - heh @Kay - heh heh ------- variety helps in fml comments. random words put together by me? maybe. decode it roundhouse it and sleep. kuso...
Farankusu 0
you seem familiar.
MyNameIsBruce 0
I totally agree. If you can't walk 8 miles, you really need to shape up. I usually jog around 8 miles.