Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML
Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he could get me lunch on his way back home. Long story short, he came back empty handed telling me it was my fault for trusting him with McNuggets. FML
Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
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Top comments
dum_dum1 0
you should have just caught a ride with some friends and had them drop you off down the road. work smarter not harder. dumbass!!
zDylanz 6
If only every American would do this, mabey we could decrease our nation's obesity.
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Comments (382)
jewfro311 0
Eight miles actually isn't that far... Maybe you wouldn't have gotten blisters if you'd worn socks OP!
cristy91 33
Back in my day, we would run 20 miles uphill both ways with the sun on our backs and the dogs at our heels. These darn whippersnappers don't know a hard day if it pushed 'em down and humped 'em into submission. /sarcasm
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
I agree with #27
Angi95 3
197 there's a difference between asthma and out of shape walking 8 miles is not that bad running 8 miles is completely different Louis and Clark averaged 12 miles a day for a year and a half. Also I have asthma and I run track, play softball, volleyball and lift weights so don't blame it on asthma.
DocBastard 40
Did you just use "boners" and "serious" together in a sentence? That's like using "rallets" and "intelligent" together. Or "KaySL" and "sane". Or "Sirin" and... You get the point.
Angi95 3
Also if you walk so much 8 miles should be nothing. Walking 8 miles is not an FML maybe not getting the fifty bucks but think on the positive side good exercise.
vmac3 0
Damn would I get him good on april fools day
lakeybalboa 0
lol at people who use asthma as excuse mfw top long distance runner in my city for age group who is also provincial level swimmer has asthma
Angi95 3
okay everyonelovesboners I never really thought you were that funny until now that was hilarious kudos for the comebacks I couldn't stop laughing. You do bring a little light to the normal boring comments of lol.
MrFlintstone 5
135- go die in a hole jackass I just got that song stuck in my head!!!!!!!!!! jk but not cool dude that song is annoying.