Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML
Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house, despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML
Today, I let my nephew and his friend spend the night to watch movies. After I fell asleep, they stole my liquor and went roaming. When they saw the cop car in front of my house and realized they were busted, they went up to the cop and told them I gave them the alcohol to avoid being grounded. FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML
Today, I was in the library when police arrested me for threatening people. The librarian even told them I did nothing wrong, and that the actual girl they wanted had already left. They took me in anyway. My dad sided with the police and let me “think about what I did” in jail overnight. FML
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in three days. FML
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Top comments
compasseagle89 8
I'm sick and tired of holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I won't put up with them anymore.
IronicIrony 8
Nice, I did Nazi that one coming!
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Comments (230)
compasseagle89 8
I'm sick and tired of holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I won't put up with them anymore.
Forlorn420 9
Better than catching a charge..
IronicIrony 8
Nice, I did Nazi that one coming!
yummayy_ 11
That's a pretty ghetto nickname :) no? Okay...
iloveursister 4
ohhhh i see what u did there
bigtaytay 13
Well OP can now call all of them Lindsay Lohan since they got in trouble with the cops
poocherz97 3
HAHA YOU SAID "COMING"!!!
MrBrightside21 20
Guys, making Jewish jokes is just low. Like the Jewish population during the Holocaust.
blackheart24 10
This thread is one of the funniest threads I've read for a while. Too bad it's gonna get moderated.
MrBrightside21 20
Guys, making these Jewish jokes is just low. Like the Jewish population during the Holocaust.
blackheart24 10
On the other hand, OP you got ****** lucky. At least u didn't get caught, so I don't really see how this is much of a FML. I'd be braggin bout that shit.
MrBrightside21 20
I got moderated :(
IronicIrony 8
42- I'm coming to believe that's an issue for you.
supercat23 10
That's a pretty awesome anecdote for the rest of your life :3
mexicotoucher 7
I'm sure OP will ghettover it.
Wheredidgrungego 12
These jokes take me out of Mein Kampfort zone.
BehindU 5
Thesejokes are Hitler-ious.
mancool124 4
me too I hate them Anne Frankly I do nazi them funny people should make better jokes.
IronicIrony 8
Guys, this can't go on any fuhrer...
mancool124 4
so far I've seen nein jokes I camp believe people cannot concentrate on the issue these jokes r not hitlerious
mikeofthunder 13
Ok, that's enough Jew guys - they can only take so much
MrBrightside21 20
Guys, allow me to be Frank. The jokes really need to stop.
mancool124 4
nein, sie zu stoppen darfst diese Witze sind lustig
mr_torch91 1
Why are you complaining? I use it as bragging rights and laugh at everyone else for getting caught.
I_lost_the_game 25
I feel proud, I understood that without a translator
mancool124 4
Es ist Zeit für RACHE! Wir mussen die 9GAG ausrotten
mexicotoucher 7
Come on guys, this isn't Reich.
jvillan87 5
I liked two other threads. This would be my Third Reich.
eoko 12
Well, what did Jew expect?
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
You guys are all a bunch of Deutschebags.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
The jokes were pretty funny right up until 84. Sigh
bizarre_ftw 22
Dear Kitty, Oh wow, this thread is Long! I bet it'll last 1000 years, riech? But honestly, I'm sure that the op, with the right amount of concentration, camp fix things if they really want to. However I'm naht entirely sure why they would, it really hit ler nail on the head, wouldn't you agree? Yours, Anne
bizarre_ftw 22
Oh 84, you Dummkopf >.< why would you make a joke like that? It's absolutely naziating
blackheart24 10
Bahaha man we are all going to hell.
bizarre_ftw 22
Well we can tell hitler all our cool jokes when we do! Besides, hell has better company anyway (most of the time)
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
No thread will ever be as long as that damn weed debate.
bizarre_ftw 22
203 - if you're referring to my comment: the third riech was supposed to last 1000 years
xd3box 4
This guy is good.
hatesfate 6
204 - you're trying too hard to fit in... Its not gonna happen
GirlYouNasty 11
If anyone can somehow add "gas chamber" in one of these jokes, you will be my new favorite person in the world.
IntoTheClouds 42
How long did it take you to come up with that ridiculously overused "joke?"
lizzzzzx3m 17
EXACT SAME BIRTHDAY.
IronicIrony 8
199- Thank you for making my night. I'm still laughing as I type this.
MrBrightside21 20
I'm just waiting for someone to correct another's grammar so I can call them a "grammar Nazi."
bizarre_ftw 22
208 - did I ever express the assumption that I would? My name should give some indication I don't expect to, however I am proud of the number of references I managed to stuff in to one small comment, and therefore I will defend it to the death! (or until something more interesting to do comes along)
Redoxx_fml 22
But Anne Frank I caught
Redoxx_fml 22
*got caught
hurtandabused 7
Duh
lavitaebella_fml 0
Yes, but she was in hiding for about two years before she got caught ;-)
lavitaebella_fml 0
^ That wasn't supposed to be a winky face. Awkward.
Redoxx_fml 22
You have no idea how flustered I am now. :o
xoconnie 8
It could have been worse!!!
HotelGuy 10
Ann frank is funny
JordenAsplund 0
Dumbass... She not a comedian, she was a girl that was in the holocaust that was in hiding for almost two years before she was finally captured.
mancool124 4
she then later dies of typhoid fever. bumm
aw3som3sauc3 10
Ann Frank isn't funny, the jokes ABOUT her are hitlerious. Am I right, or am I Reich?
aw3som3sauc3 10
Ann Frank isn't funny, the jokes ABOUT her are hitlerious. Am I right, or am I Reich?
AwkwardPartyBear 24
*Anne Frank. Sorry but some Nazi had to say it.
eileenrj 4
Nice that's awesome but I'm sorry you are getting called Ann frank that's kinda messed up
alexup24 13
its sad you can't spell a four letter word. Anne*
jerseyboy732 16
ydi for drinking underaged
SkoomaKi 28
Come on! He's young and having fun. As long as he wasn't shit-faced and severely damaging his liver.
MagicallyFat 12
5- your 19. Your telling me you never went to house parties with friends. Or tailgates or BBQs. Chill your self.
jerseyboy732 16
u lil Harry potter nerd go away before I have to invoke my 2nd amendment right
Sirin_fml 47
How about using your Fifth Amendment right to keep your damned mouth shut, tough guy?
SkoomaKi 28
38 - Hey farm boy how about you take a cactus to the ass? No one attacks a Harry Potter fan and gets away with it! P.s Love you Sirin.
kateRAWR 4
"hes" a girl...................just putting that out there
MagicallyFat 12
38- you must be new to the Internet. I'll let that one slide. 46 and sirin Ftw
deviable 9
Sure, it's okay to break the law by drinking a toxic substance under the incorrect notion that you need it to have fun. It's not like there are studies that say underage drinkers are more likely to abuse alcohol when they're older. I don't mind if you want to drink underaged, but don't act put down because people tell you you shouldn't do it, and don't get upset when the law comes down on you.
PYLrulz 17
Watch out, we got a badass over here
Archon 7
Sirin I wish I could thumb up your comment. He really needs to use his "right to shut the **** up."
KOn311 2
#38- He can't put up a fight which is why he tries to brush off any negative comments about him. Very funny.
shaylin94 9
16- he is a she... Thats a female sign not a male sign xD
SirCharles83 13
16- on the weed FML you say "YDI because it's illegal." Now here you are in support of under age drinking. Seems like you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. You're a joke.
SkoomaKi 28
101 - Interesting. I don't recall ever saying those exact words. Also I have not said I "support" underage drinking. For the weed dilemma, that was a matter of opinion, I don't want to smoke weed, but I wouldn't mind drinking with friends being underage. Ok?
McMan 23
So the American consitution is now the internet's as well... Does this mean I can get a gun?
McMan 23
Well Skooma, I do believe that 101 has a valid point. I believe he was paraphrasing but he should have made that clearer I suppose. "Also I have not said I 'support' underage drinking." "but I wouldn't mind drinking with friends being underage. Ok?" That's a bit hypocritical in a sense, you could spin it and say that you didn't tell them to drink underage but you did not stop them as well. But alas I'd rather not have another flame war start and have the FML enhancer crash due to a large amount of comments.
THExistentialist 13
hypocrite. your profile says you hate cops and don't like people starting shit. ONE: if you hate cops you must have a reason. like, oh I don't know, illegal activities you'd rather enjoy uninterrupted by them? such as drinking! TWO: you say you don't want to argue and yet you blatantly comment "blah blah shut up harry potter sucks blah blah second amendment blah blab." which is actually starting a pointless argument, which you will lose, because you are... a loser. Sirin, excellent use of constitutional comeback. I was looking forward to his retort. I'm currently arming the bears and sending them to his location to prove irony.
XanderJayNix 17
Just because OP mentioned being underage and everyone getting breathalyzed doesn't mean they were drinking. They could have just been afraid of getting in trouble for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
larrythedeer 6
38- you are the reason why people want our guns and rights taken away. You obviously don't own a fire arm because a responsible and educated gun owner wouldn't dare say that shit.
larrythedeer 6
That*
The_Hitdude 12
139- While I see where you are coming from, and agree with you to a certain degree, I have to disagree with you on one point: "Just because OP mentioned being underage....doesn't mean they were drinking." Although I can see your point, I don't think OP would put it in the FML if it wasn't relevant. And why would he hide? Because he'd get arrested? If he wasnt drinking, then they're not going to arrest him for "accessory to the use of alcohol", because it doesn't make any sense. They'd probably let him off the hook. This is what leads me to believe that he was, in fact, drinking.
The_Hitdude 12
139- While I see where you are coming from, and agree with you to a certain degree, I have to disagree with you on one point: "Just because OP mentioned being underage....doesn't mean they were drinking." Although I can see your point, I don't think OP would put it in the FML if it wasn't relevant. And why would he hide? Because he'd get arrested? If he wasnt drinking, then they're not going to arrest him for "accessory to the use of alcohol", because it doesn't make any sense. They'd probably let him off the hook. This is what leads me to believe that he was, in fact, drinking.
courtneyann211 10
Actually 159, OP could get in trouble for being at the party underage if there was drinking. The owner of the house could also get into serious trouble. That's even if OP was not drinking.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Ugh, I ******* knew there was going to be hypocrisy and the weed FML would be brought up. Skooma, what the ****? After that intensely heated argument, you show support for a far more damaging substance, and in an illegal situation. I don't even..(loud noises) And by the way...isn't Skooma an illegal and addictive substance in the Elder Scrolls universe?
hatesfate 6
22 - what do going to those things have to do with getting drunk? Sure alcohol is located at them but you don't need to drink it. I agree. I'm sure #5 has had a drink before (many of us have when we were underage) but you need to come up with a more valid argument.
kylieh72 25
Buzzkill?
Lexiloulynn 2
Ooh, you didn't get arrested for underaged drinking! FYL...
marmlr339 14
You can get breathylsed? On private property? :-/ just because you drank underage. Overkill!! In Australia you have to be 18 to drink in public, but in a private location, they can't enforce it. And can't breathylse people unless they're driving
Heinousness 0
OP, I get the joke. Oh, the irony of it all. I hope you aren't jewish ( to take offense from it)
MagicallyFat 12
Hahaha that's great. It's a good thing you hid. Quick thinking on your part. Anne Frank however didn't end up as well as you did.
rocklare18 7
Wasnt that Hellen Keller?
TheDrifter 24
Nono, Helen Keller wouldn't have heard or seen the cops coming, she was not very Ninja.
hatesfate 6
Shush girl, shut your lips...
akallaan 7
That is awesome! You win! Like a boss!
iamsolid 11
hey, at least you didnt get caught!
x_Just_Ellie_x 8
I did Nazi that one coming.
SpottedZebra42 14
Someone beat you to that one. Check the replies to the first comment.
FMLsAreAwesome 0
Check the second reply to #1 -_-
x_Just_Ellie_x 8
yeah it was split seconds before mine, my bad!
KeyboardWarrior 10
They were posted at the same time, cut her some slack. Edit: Nevermind, she beat me to it. How ironic!
IronicIrony 8
Hehe, ironic.
x_Just_Ellie_x 8
Hahaha:')
missalkali 8
great minds think alike... but sometimes, foolish minds just get lucky ;)