Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied, "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
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Top comments
vanillamelody 0
Don't feel too badly about it... obviously a LOT more people have this same dilemma, seeing as how Walmart RAN OUT of small condoms!
Daaniellee1234 8
ahahahah, not going to lie, I would have laughed to.
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Comments (122)
Xrandomkrisx 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
haha omg that sucks!!! hmmmm viagra?? maybe?? but yah thats cold..
bmxwhiteboi 0
dude, viargra only helps you get it up, doesn't increase the size.
Okie7123 0
What? Is Advil part of your everyday diet so much that you need to buy it everytime you get food?! WTF?
wh4t3v3R 0
Its for all those headaches his girlfriend gets. Every night I suspect, just like my girlfriend.
Xrandomkrisx 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lol i wouldnt know cause i dont use it :D haha all i know it makes u something.. haha
DameGreyWulf 1
Hey 64, tell your girlfriend that orgasms alleviate headaches, so she should shut up and lay down so you can help her with that.
sharon_ellj 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I knew what viagra was when i was twelve! My friends knew about it when they were 10!
The_Pleb 0
I have three things to say about this situation.. 1. 1# Randomkris, your a retard 2. i wish i had your girlfriend she has a cool sense of humor 3. get a penis enlarger
PanixAtTheFallOu 0
no hes just a dumbass. everyone else knows.
redsox4021 0
all of them are the same size they stretch to your hand to elbow only for ego booster and money
arlayia 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hhahaa your wife is incredibly honest :) Awesome. And FYL.
Bansheethekilla 2
and your your incredibly retarded. it said his girlfriend not his wife.
Ooer 0
your your? I think you are the retard
PanixAtTheFallOu 0
plus its youre not your. youre is the conjunction of you are. your is like it belongs to you.. ..dumbass
UnderstoodCat 0
It's a contraction, not a conjunction. ....Dumbass
captaincutie 1
This whole conversation is a fail ...
Daaniellee1234 8
ahahahah, not going to lie, I would have laughed to.
MrZed_fml 11
too *
LonghornsFan1 0
LOL now that deff sux
IsntThisAwkward 0
****.
PaddedWhiteRoom 0
****.
cbaidchris 6
too bad the face ruins it for everyone...
screammlouder 0
hahahaha, sorry dude.
vanillamelody 0
Don't feel too badly about it... obviously a LOT more people have this same dilemma, seeing as how Walmart RAN OUT of small condoms!
saviisneat 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
First of all, you have an interesting set of "usuals". I don't get why advil was mentioned unless it's because she has a headache. Hence, the lack of condoms ;) Second of all, your girlfriend is retarded if she can't substitute another kind of condom. I'm sure, out of the giant section of condoms they have at stores, she could of found SOMETHING that would work. Medium would do as well. She is either extremely dumb or she just wanted to embarrass you. Either way she is a bitch.
haweb 0
Uh, I think wearing a condom that is too big for your penis would pretty much defeat the purpose.
theta_fml 0
@13 The difference between any two successive sizes of condoms is only a few millimeters of latex. It's almost insignificant, seeing as how most condoms can stretch to accommodate a good portion of a human arm. A medium size condom probably would have worked fine.
DameGreyWulf 1
Theta, actually, I've heard it increases the chances of it coming off, if you use a bigger size. Smaller size, increase of chances of it breaking.
haweb 0
Yeh, but the issue isn't a condom being big enough to fit his penis. It's the issue of being small enough. Most condoms may stretch around a human arm, but the condom isn't going to shrink around his penis. I would imagine that if he's wearing a condom bigger than what conforms to his penis well, it will increase the chances of it slipping off. More latex=more room=probably not good for intercourse.
euphorickid 0
Lol agreed! Some people just shouldn't be allowed to fornicate (i.e. the girlfriend)
Ooer 0
people who use the word 'fornicate' prob shouldn't have sex either
MsSippi 0
hey! what's wrong with the word "fornicate"? I use that word sometimes and I also like to fornicate frequently.
Dopeyrox 0
lmao wow maybe she didn't think about what she was saying? funny for the people around in the store though. But I'm sorry your junk is small.
crazy_coon 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you shoulda slapped that bitch for embarrassing you like that!!! and threw them advils at her for the pain. you shouldnt be taking shit like that from your woman.
PaddedWhiteRoom 0
'MERICA!
j300zx 0
LMAO at #165. hahaha I read that in the most red neck voice I could think of. hahaha
vyktor_fml 0
Hahaha, ^
cannonpalms 0
haha 'MERICA is absolutely right. good call.
Gulo_fml 0
Your response?: "DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT ME, I TAKE ENZYTE AND EXTENZE EVERY DAY AND YOU SAID IT WAS WORKIIIIIIING *SOB*"