davidh5012
United States
Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
LuckySperm
United Kingdom
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
TMI
United States
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Anonymous
Toledo, United States
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Anonymous
United States
Happy birthday to you
Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML
Anonymous
Men and their balls
Today, five years after the birth of our last child, my husband still hasn't gotten the vasectomy he swore he would get. He wouldn't let me get my tubes tied, because it was "the least he could do," but when I ask about it, I'm a nag. FML
Anonymous
Birthday Boy
Today, it's my 16th birthday. It's also it is the day my parents scheduled my wisdom teeth to be pulled out. Happy birthday to me, then. FML
rejectedson
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Nice to know
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML
Star_Wars_Lover
Dallas, United States
Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML
ohgosh1428
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Las Vegas, United States
Pull yourself together
Today, in Las Vegas, after taking my drunk dad and his drunk friend to their respective hotel rooms, I realised that I, despite being 16 years-old, am the responsible one. FML
Top comments
chazzlerazzle 0
Dude don't worry if he really didn't want you he would of falcon punched your mom right in the stomach when he found out she was pregnant
Insane_Tea 15
At least your mother isn't having a fifteen years over-due abortion...
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Comments (140)
suavesuave 2
Sweet sixteen!
I_lost_the_game 25
But he's fifteen
chazzlerazzle 0
Suavesuave your retarded, learn how to read and in addition I LOST THE GAME!!!
suavesuave 2
An referring to what is going to happen on the 16th birthday lol "sweet sixteen "
StoryOfTheYear 15
1- I'm hoping you're referring to the celebration of 16 years of their dad's intact genitalia.
StoryOfTheYear 15
I'm on a roll today. Sorry moderator. :(
habibiiiiiii 2
And U can't do math
ShakeMeDown 12
64- And YOU can't spell.
trippyshitt 1
Dude. 9 months to make the ******* baby. She doesn't start 'aging' until she's BORN, hoe. By the way, 9 months is a majority of a year. What's 12 minus 9? Yeah. That's right. 3. So 15 years and 9 months. His vasectomy was 16 years late. Just think about it, sweet pea. Don't explode.
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0
Haha no one loves you op!!!!
screamo_is_okay 6
100- you just raped my mind with math!!
Naitsi 19
120 no, you'r just stupid
screamo_is_okay 6
i was joking so that makes you a dick
MrsCunny 1
Haha f-yeaa
exotica_fml 6
its ok you are loved
StoryOfTheYear 15
What FML are you reading?
Renesaga 8
I'd say "Hey, maybe it's just a coincidence, or a bad choice of words." but, that seems pretty straight-forward. Sometimes parents say things without thinking, though, so don't let it offend you too much.
margie2194 12
God obviously saw you as very important to the human race.
pinkandbluepsych 3
Maybe he had an affair with another woman before you and he meant it that way?
nicole86 8
What he probably meant (considering 16yrs ago you were in utero) was that he didn't want any more kids. If OP has a younger sibling then I'd feel bad for them.
Mister_Triangle 21
I think it was a joke; OP's dad sounds like a funny troll
ripjohnlennon 5
Maybe he was joking...
chazzlerazzle 0
Dude don't worry if he really didn't want you he would of falcon punched your mom right in the stomach when he found out she was pregnant
exotica_fml 6
ha exactly
exotica_fml 6
ha exactly
SillyFart 7
Show ya moves!
Alexisthebestest 16
This FML reminds me of the time my dad told me Bud Light was the reason I'm alive today...
thisisafunnyname 12
i finally understand why my mom gets ***** herself when my dad says falcon...and why i have a big hole in my face
Babydoll4ever 7
^ your comment isn't funny, and neither is your name. No hard feelings..
mason_sweat 0
65- me too except my dad said "If your mother wouldn't have been wearing a tennis skirt you and your sister would have never been born." He told me that when I was 7.
Alexisthebestest 16
Don't you just love parents, with their perverted honesty?
Ninjasaurus18 9
118- YES!!!! I do love parents like that.
xShannonxSammyx 7
At least they loved you enough not to get an abortion! :)
jim69_fml 0
Or they couldn't afford it...
iam_yummylicious 12
Or it didn't work.
Meowingtons500 18
Babies don't like murder! - Juno :D
ITIvRAPTORvITI 0
Failed Abotrion^ :O
Insane_Tea 15
At least your mother isn't having a fifteen years over-due abortion...
ORlGINAL 0
Peepee
smirnoff1695 0
That's encouraging.
ninjacutie 6
eh he wouldnt be there if he didn't love you >.< punch him hard enough in the balls give him the vasectomy the cheap way if you have to ;) haha just kidding don't chop your dads area…
soccerguy2 11
Its probably just a joke. Dads always say things like that, I know mine does
bitchslapped22 14
Dad: "Hey son, I regret having you for a child." Son: "W-what..?" Dad: " I'm joking of course! ohohoho"
THE_A_TEEN 28
"I'm going to joke about my child's existance" Not going to happen...
Commander223 9
That's what my dad does... He made it quite clear that I was a mistake. He even said he wanted to put me up for adoption when I was born... That was an awkward week.
daminantion 14
Wahh boohoo my dad made a joke about meeee. You want sympathy, OP? Go visit a Hallmark store, or the next-door cat lady. When you have meddlesome kids you will see the humour.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Boo-*******-hoo damination. Let your father tell you about wishing he had that vasectomy before your own mother concieved you and then come crying to fml. When will ****-shit parents realize that joking about your childs very own existance without considering what the other will ******* feel like.
THE_A_TEEN 28
I'm ******* sorry #53, I checked your profile and I saw you were 21 years old. Meddlesome kids?? I bet you don't have kids or know about parenting.
IndigoFuckYou 9
Plus he's Canadian. Sigh, daminination, or however you misspell it--you can't be funny on FML by insulting the OP. Just insult the other commenters, maybe then you'll get some thumbs up. Moron.