Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding, and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. I was about to call my parents and tell them we're getting married, but they called me first to announce they're getting a divorce. FML
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Maybe his wife is so ugly he didn't want you to see her. Perfectly understandable! Nah, I'm joking, he's an ass. Make her a widow.
DameGreyWulf 1
Must have eloped
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Comments (44)
4dakill 0
first!!!
Les_Paul_Player 0
well, look on the bright side....its better than him paying some random guy to tattoo "Im Gettin Married! Love, Dad" on their chest and flash you
hershey098 0
YDI he probably thought u would try too have sex with a rihno
TooMany 0
lol win OP's name
DameGreyWulf 1
Must have eloped
epeets 1
f u mr.1st. anyways, did you curse his ass out? what a dick!
Intoxicunt 6
*Tries to see buried comment* :O I wonder if this is a new feature or if the website is just ******...
rainbow_laces 0
Me too :S
Zoa_fml 0
well I learned oft fathers marriage through an announcement in the newspaper after it happened, read to me by his supposed girlfriend and mother of 2 of his children...so it could be worse
abcdork 0
Found out via newpaper too. Same with when he had a kid.
DravensMommy 0
I found out my dad got married through pictures on his website three months after the wedding.
yesikahh 0
I found out about my dads marriage through Myspace. Laaaaaame. & He didnt even tell me. I asked his ex girlfriend & she told me that i was right, that they had gotten married.
rayne13 4
I found out about my mother's most recent marriage (#3) on April 4th. She got married April 2nd.
wrongpussy 0
you'll be getting a voicemail from me next.. oh, by the way im your new step mommy ;)
Asstazztic 8
maybe daddy doesn't like u o.O sry man fyl
JoseCuervo 0
Wow, a voicemail? How thoughtful. Now this is the part where you sell his car and inform him with an e-mail.
Intoxicunt 6
Maybe his wife is so ugly he didn't want you to see her. Perfectly understandable! Nah, I'm joking, he's an ass. Make her a widow.
Asstazztic 8
hahaha I love u intoxicunt :)
lol_genius 0
Lol funnily enough the same happened to me except he called me and told me he was married as a side note a whole month after it happened and trust me with time that wound will heal (a long time)