Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML
Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML
Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML
Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML
Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML
Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
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Top comments
theblackhannah 0
wow..gain some weight?
allplayedout 20
unrelated, but how can you only weigh 85 pounds? I'm a girl and havent been so small since I was ten. are you eleven or very short?
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Comments (220)
theblackhannah 0
wow..gain some weight?
KaitlynxD 5
Haha that's what I was thinking!
nateb1tch 1
and the amps? get shocked by 1 mill volts with low amp an no shit happens
lmaoloveu 0
OMG how do you only weigh 85?! jealous -.-
ellielovesyuh 0
wow ur tiny. I'm really skinny and I weigh 119 I can't imagine how small you are o_0
dynamic164 4
OP is either 10 years old or is extremely anorexic
chippa 24
OP might be short.
flammenhund 4
31 lets mate?
albinoV 1
Your body draws current from voltage based on your body's resistance (a characteristic matter has that determines how easily current flows through it.) The current that will flow through your body, I, is determined by voltage V divided by resistance R (I = V/R). When you come into contact with voltage, your body's resistance, something you basically have no control over, determines how much current is drawn. Unless you're made up of clay or something, 1,000,000 volts is going to draw a lot of current.
fmfreakinlife 3
nice 38 nice
abasio 1
I hope you're really young to be such a small person.
BitchynessIsGod 4
I have a friend who is vegaterian, not anorexic, but rather short who weighs about 75-ish pounds
agentx52 13
It's a guy, he's gotta be anorexic.
xdmsjcx 0
?
Hayman68 4
Guys i know why OP is so small, he's Justin Bieber.
ygdrassil 17
More importantly, why was the OP's dad fixing an outlet without first turning off the power to it?
HunterDanielle 3
68, I love you!
iFacade 5
op is probably really short and skinny, my best friend is not even 5 foot and weighs 86 pounds
charisjoy 0
hey im 15 & only weigh 85! and im defaintly not anorexic
KelceyLoves 0
I eat as much as Michael Phelps and I've never weighed more than 95. I have a high metabolism and I exercise a LOT. This guy might have his mama's genes or something and also have a high metabolism:)
weissesengel 0
wat so u wanna b a stick?
JumboSquidster 0
he's a dude
breakingdawnxx3 0
I don't understand why people are telling this kid to gain weight. What if they're only like 10-12 freakin years old? Weighing that much at that age, makes sense.
ninjaCarebear 17
ahahahahhahahaha
ilovebrookematso 0
maybe she looks Like snookie...
anlhawks 5
me too!!! it's nice to know someone else is the same weight, age, and not anorexic! like srsly I'm 5'2 and yeah I'm skinny; I don't like it but hey. high metabolism. whattayah want me to do.?
Down4TheCause 0
but your a girl and your fine as ****!
Down4TheCause 0
that's to you 118... I hope haha
lindsaymiedema 4
118, I'm sorry but you don't look like 85 pounds.
Alpha35 4
why r u a guy and weigh 85 lbs.... man.... at this rate all the guys will be girls
b1ondiee 0
agreed
smartalek 2
he may be asian? they're small. he. could be like 14, too.
iPeterPan 8
They shouldn't be on here if they're 10-12 years old.
NatalieF 5
that's exactly what i was thinking
fivehuskies 6
#59 I think it's a girl because even a thin guy has more muscle than a girl by default. I know a really ******* skinny guy who doesn't lift and he weighs over 100lbs. Or it's a 9 year old boy in which case, why do you have a smart device and why are you on this app?
vanderstoep 0
^pwned
metal8214 0
are you a midget? if so, couldn't you have just riden your unicorn to safety and avoided the situation?
gnarkill313 0
ahahaha owned
lmBrown 0
word. OP u have a really fat dad
emmabear16 0
Well at least your alive I guess
elizabeth_black 26
You're*
allplayedout 20
unrelated, but how can you only weigh 85 pounds? I'm a girl and havent been so small since I was ten. are you eleven or very short?
97090370 0
I'm 13 and only weigh 78 pounds, and I'm a perfectly normal girl...
97090370 0
and no, my picture is not me. lol
lakeybalboa 0
The only 13 year old girl I know that weighs that much is less than 5 feet tall and I don't know if that's normal.
beautifulbeau 4
I'm almost nineteen and I am 4'9", weighing at 87 pounds. Yes, even adults can be that small.
talktomandybaby 8
6 one of my best friends is 12 and a month older than me and weighs about 70 pounds.
jenniferunicorn 5
op is a guy
MrHappybottms 6
Agreed. I'm 20, 5'7", a guy, and I weigh around 90 pounds. I eat a ton, I exercise when I can. I'm not anorexic, I'm not malnourished. I have a very high metabolism and it honestly does suck a ton. No matter how hard I try I can't gain any weight. So **** all of you trying to crack jokes or insults.
Buchitoo 4
You must be either very young or very small to only be 85lbs.
xxxJORDYBEARxxx 0
I'm guessing she's in middle school.
nokel11 7
OP is a dude....
xxxJORDYBEARxxx 0
no how is OP a dude? prove it...
thesunsetglow_fml 8
it says the op's gender..... -__-"
itsbryn 0
so are you
whippymcdumb4zs 0
if op is a dude, they must be on the emo diet....(saltines and water)
dancingqueen5678 1
what's OP?
kittydidit 0
Well you're a dude and you look like you weigh about 85 lbs...
celialevi1234 2
90- original poster, aka the person who wrote the fml
hobbsicle805 0
8 your either a fail troll or a huge dumbass
Katydid123 4
Middle school? More like elementary school
kattylizbeth 19
Original poster
ydi_4_suking 20
It probably hurt him alot more than it hurt you. He did land on a bunch of bones with no cushion
Kiyoha 0
#9 is win. No offence, OP :) In a few years time you'll have gained weight. I know 13-14-year old boys who weigh about 40 kg.
Hayman68 4
Can you please speak in customary measurements while on FML? Thank you.
kasumii 1
How is the metric system not customary? The rest of the world uses it, only Americans use lbs.
chippa 24
Actually, Canada uses lbs too. I don't know why we're partially imperial, it's kinda... dumb.
qwerty8788 4
americas fat. that's why they use the dumbass "customary" system. learn something for once you lazy americans
Cjw1220 0
Well, I guess we could learn how to be literate. Like, maybe, capitalizing the first letter of the first word of a sentence, perhaps? Or maybe just by putting apostrophes where needed. Or by not stereotyping towards another nation by calling it fat, or calling the system in which we measure things a dumbass. I guess there is a lot we could learn about. What are they teaching at those American schools? How to appear as if our country as a whole would appear obese in comparison with all those "Normal" weighing countries. Tsk, Tsk. Silly Yanks.
smartalek 2
#167. America's the fattest country out there. Canada DOES NOT use the customary system, but they do learn it. We can stereotype all we want. America is fat. No doubt about it. And he can be young and small. ir doesn't say he's eighteen or anything. He could be twelve for all you know.
tacticalnutmeg 0
159 Got owned.
maybaybe 0
Ow :/ Maybe you should gain some weight.
gusgus36 5
85 pounds?? unless you're super super tiny and short, or a little kid, you are seriously anorexic
ieatbebies 0
hey i know ppl that are 90 lbs and arent small or that skinny i think they just dont have much fat
Pb25797051 0
115, obviously??