Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Shocking
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Less haste, more speed
Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML
Move!
Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML
Move, bitch! Get out the way!
Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML
Have you ever zapped anyone?
Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML
PIVOT!
Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML
Spooky!
Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
Top comments
theblackhannah 0
wow..gain some weight?
allplayedout 20
unrelated, but how can you only weigh 85 pounds? I'm a girl and havent been so small since I was ten. are you eleven or very short?
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Comments (220)
ieatbebies 0
get your iphone out and play some apps for a little while
ieatbebies 0
why were you behind him and why that close?
boomachicaboom 1
You're dad shocked himself and somehow you see it as your life is f'd?
Atishuh 0
I doubt OP is 10, because when I was 10 I weighed 65 lbs.
peopleoftheworld 3
your skinny!
slsrox1298 0
wowwwww... ur dad shocked himself with 120 volts and u say ur life is ******?? go apologize to your dad for putting this up here.
Domo_Arigato7 3
you're too skinny, put on some freakin weight pussy
FMLinCA 12
this made me LOL. sucks to be you.
FMLinCA 12
you're* ugh.
Anteezy 7
Woah you're a guy and you only weigh 85 pounds? Start working out, you could double your weight and still be lightweight.