Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML
Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML
Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML
Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML
Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML
Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
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Top comments
theblackhannah 0
wow..gain some weight?
allplayedout 20
unrelated, but how can you only weigh 85 pounds? I'm a girl and havent been so small since I was ten. are you eleven or very short?
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Comments (220)
lostgirlaus 0
Ehh my friend is a 22 year old guy, 5'7 and weighs 100 pounds. He's "healthy" in the sense that he's not anorexic, so I suppose it's possible..
lobsterdog 15
He got ******* shocked by some voltage, and you're complaining about getting sat on by him. Man the **** up.
three3_fml 2
Gay sex for the first time ?
dre_bro11 12
LOL! OP, did you're head get caught up your dad's ass when he landed on you?
motero 0
must've looked like a gorilla squashing a tiny monkey lol
abunton08 0
I was 17 and weighed 85 pounds at 5'2. so really there is a possibility I ate all the time my cousin is 25 years old 5'3 and she only weighs 90 lbs it's not that she is starving herself she is just small sorry about your dad getting shocked
Zebidee 9
This would have made a great Darwin Award.
Sadochan 0
85 pounds? Get some ******* meat on you dude.
mereed 0
try goin to the gym! (just a sugustion) Im only 11 so i am being nice!
NGH97 0
what the hell is an 11 year old girl doin on here?!?!?
eclecticstrings 0
break out the twinkies
yanksby7 6
I'm sorry...your dad got electrocuted and this FML is about you? This isn't an FML...it's the whine of a selfish brat!et me help you write a new one: Today, I was fixing an outlet when my hand slipped and I was electrocuted. I was thrown across the room into my kid. She was too concerned about the bruise on her arm to even ask if I was ok. FML
kaylaamariee 9
exactly what I was thinking..
binkybaby 3
*edit* OP is a boy.