iPeterPan

Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML

Smooth

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML