Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymed with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML
Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML
Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
A woman from North Carolina Strung catgut across her ****** With proper-sized cocks Her **** would play Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Mina There are a few rhymes for you.
seymourlilly17 0
is her name Regina...
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Comments (148)
maphineRAWRS 10
recliner?
stronghand0331 17
It's not a vaginer! Otherwise recliner would be perfect
C94Slim 7
LOL WTF??
daminantion 14
it takes a blonde LOL...
stronghand0331 17
Ay yo ayyy! I spoke the truth.
maphineRAWRS 10
HAHAHAHHA SHIT I DIDNT SAY THAT GUYS I SWEAR :P
nellieelectron 0
Well if you say it in a british accent it sort of works....
suppressed08 2
I garuntee that no one here read tye FML then didn't try to think of a word. :)
rosemary1990 0
ur right lol that's the first thing I did
Flowmotion 0
Salivaaaaaa :D
5t3ff1k4h 47
That doesn't work.
gordodestroyo 0
what about Lima, like Lima bean... or that teenage witch Sabrina
fixxxers01_fml 0
that's a made up word, Jim. Why dont you try using a different word.
Msraina 8
like box or p*ssy or c*unt?
suprmidgt 0
it's hard to rhyme a word like ******. Calvin Klein kinda, North Carolina.
iamchuck 0
Just listened to that song not ten minutes ago.
tygerarmy 35
Exactly what I thought of. the Bloodhound gang is awesome.
Domonator 16
In Chicago, there are three street names that rhyme with ******: Paulina, Melvina, and Lunt.
JuliaM1000 10
Lunt?! HAHAHAHAHA I think I need to the hospital now...
MissErikaHart 0
Lunt, lol
army13D 0
in the word of The Bloodhound Gang " it's hard to rhyme a / word like ****** / calvin kline kinda / North Carolina? "
kyleryan 0
....Maybe it was a thank you card....?¿
stronghand0331 17
Thank you for your ******??
spanelli 16
He must be pussy whipped...
tama_tee 0
hahaha this made my day
SHANNON_fml 0
On your one special day, im gunna' lick your ****** because its all mine-er, i want to give you anal in our leather recliner, then spread your legs on the diner, i'll be a little bit kinder and then take you on vacation to North Carolina. Happy Birthday sweetheart.
elmorous 0
mangina