Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymed with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML
Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML
Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
A woman from North Carolina Strung catgut across her ****** With proper-sized cocks Her **** would play Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Mina There are a few rhymes for you.
seymourlilly17 0
is her name Regina...
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Comments (148)
smallsmerry 0
just say penis it always gets ******
DncrHap 9
glarg. i would not be a happy camper if my father asked me that. kind of made my stomach lurch just thinking about it. ):
jessicaaababy 8
oh god that must have been awkward hahah
sebcola13 0
Hey ! how are you .
123zc1 3
So what did you tell him?
gigilvrs6 0
He should look through a dictionary.
W4X 0
Abe happy your parents are still loving. Many peoples parents hate each other or get a divorce. May be a bit disguising but it's what humans do. So next time, instead of getting FML, you should think "Wow. My parents still have sex. Good for them!" :P
starberries 0
I'm sorry you're so bitter after your parents' divorce. But please, keep it to yourself. It is gross to think of your parents having sex. We all know it happens, and none of us want to think about it.
ohhoho 2
@starberies: You're a very grumpy person aren't you. Some people are more open with the topic of sex than others. Open your mind.
GoodLookingGeese 10
I agree and don't see an FML here either, maybe the OP has to grow a little to understand this.
blinks 0
No, I'm with Starberries. yes it happens, yes it's natural but it doesn't mean I wanna walk around in a good mood with a smile on my face cos I'm thinking bout how cool it is that my parents have sex. it's not quite an FML. but it's pretty gross. BTW since when is it considered 'open minded' to think about your parents having sex? what year did that come in cos I missed it obviously.
Cinn_fml 23
You don't have to imagine it, blinks & starberries. Just accept it. If you really are so worried that you'll be traumatised for life if your parents mention any words related to sex because it means you'll picture it, just have a backup imagine ready, like mulitcoloured elephants.
starberries 0
Actually the main point of my comment was that W4X needs to shut up and stop whining about his parents' divorce. He's acting like "omg you should be SO HAPPY to think about your parents having sex because mine hate each other, poor me poor me!!"
Cinn_fml 23
Fair enough.
Fnyrri 12
So... is your dad Jimmy Pop?
tthhoomm 0
love that song
HomeAl0ne 20
Dear Regina, Ode to your ******... Stroker or grinder, I've never seen finer. And that is including all **** star designer. Errr about that call from "To Catch a Predator", they allege she's a minor from North Carolina but it's hard to tell when you're kneeling behind her. So please go a bit easy, I suffer angina. Oh, and as for your present? I got you bone china! Happy Birthday
missvee98324 0
THIS.
brennboo 3
or Happy Anniversary it's all the same
starile 20
Thank you, finally someone brought up angina lol
StoryOfTheYear 15
OmG best dad ever
MissPo3s 0
Haha OP, you should've played along.