Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my dad for the first time. She politely asked how he was doing, and he responded, “Still vertical. Still annoying people.” Then he winked at her and said, “You poor thing.” I wanted to melt into the ground. FML
Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
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Top comments
Drew167 8
Well your dad seems very friendly.
tennisrapper1 14
He is one creepy fellow...
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Comments (155)
236schertzi 1
Ouch.
thatgurltori 6
he sounds like fun!
ucoolgirl31 20
Awkward...
Ch0sen 13
Watch out, dad's dopamine levels are over 9000
MissAmz 7
More awkward than 'ouch'.
Hearon20 0
Well, at least it was a creative way to say it.
randii_17 11
How did op deserve it??
kyarush 10
Like a baus
Drew167 8
Well your dad seems very friendly.
10K3NNY10 0
You could say a little bit too friendly...
biggestfan23 11
I guess OP's girl can never sleep over then. His dad might do unspeakable things when she's sleeping
BitchPlease18 6
More like a ******* perv!
Brenda37 13
That must have been so awkward. Well, at least he "likes" your girlfriend, OP! ;)
Trisha_aus 15
Headless bloke without a shirt strikes yet again
Flyersfan54 4
Put a shirt on, tool.
shift_love 13
^ what that guy said
biggestfan23 11
#2 put on a shirt for your and ours sake please. Your skin and bones dude
Ch0sen 13
No, all of you misunderstand him! His picture is actually a subtle cry for help regarding his extreme malnutrition. Instead of flaming him, we should be sending him food stamps instead.
Lexiloulynn 2
Guys, just because you're jealous of him doesn't make it alright to make fun of him. Bullying isn't right.
hellaflushfa5 6
#2 would you happen to be a bag filled with douche?
wannabemom 5
Keep it in the family ((;
tennisrapper1 14
He is one creepy fellow...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Chill. I'm just checking your ****** for fun.
smilessss 4
Today, my boyfriends father offered to check my ****** for fun. FML
blondebrunette11 4
He sounds pretty cool. I guess.
onlychildFTW 34
Haha seems OP's dad has a crush!!! How cute! Lol.
chokefrantic 9
3- I thumbed up just for the pic.
GenaALazer 22
114 I thumbed down, just because of the picture.
anon80214 15
That'll be a good story for the future. Hopefully she has a good sense of humor.
Il_Maestro 6
And that, kids, is the night your mom met your dad. Or grandad. Whichever you prefer to call him.
21jason 9
He's just rounding up business.
ICastillo 25
Hey he just wants make aeverything works and functions right for you OP.
Skittles_Rawr 8
Oh god...
ChrisG93 8
That's incredibly disturbing... btw like the batman shirt. Lol
Skittles_Rawr 8
Haha thank you it's from hottopic x)
ChrisG93 8
Lol thanks for the info, because I'm so gonna run down there and pick one up for myself.
DogsPaw 16
Now my mom gets my clothes for me at Hot Topic, I dress like a Nazi First thing I thought of at the word Hot Topic.
Skittles_Rawr 8
UI did get it online do it might not be in stores... It's also a girls shirt. Just thought you'd want to know that....
gabfoundnemo 5
**** your life.
hockeyoceancity 13
Hmm... Fits the applications name doesn't it?
starflyer59 17
there's a button for your comment.
pokefan813 16
There is a button for that comment as well, sir. (the thumbs down button)...maybe I should take my own advice...
SpottedZebra42 14
Wow, pokefan! Thanks for showing me that amazing button! Let me test it on you.
starflyer59 17
49: I'm a girl.... smh.
horseridermc 2
Oh my goodness…
instnt1nfction 17
Oh no, your goodness!
dna629 3
That sucks I'm sorry ur dads a pervert :(
asdaasdaasda 1
Or maybe just maybe, the guy actually has a decent sense of humour and you shouldn't take it so seriously...
DarkHelmet 10
I think your Dad might have just gotten a patient OP