Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving my crush a lift home from a mutual friend's house. When he got in the car, my mom asked in French, "Is this the guy you won't stop talking about? You can do so much better!" Of all the things I've told about him to my mom, I forgot to mention he's French as well. FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, I told my crush, who I've liked for a while, that I liked him. He looked at me in pure terror and walked away. FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask out my crush, only to find out that they're already in a committed relationship with my mom. FML
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Today, my crush invited me to her house and I ended up meeting her dad. Then she suddenly had to dash off because her boyfriend, whom I had no idea existed, unexpectedly had free time so they were going on a last minute date, which left me awkwardly sat there in the kitchen with her dad. FML
Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
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Top comments
davek 36
In Soviet Russia, mother insults YOU!!
amazinemo578 4
damn I felt that
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Comments (187)
akaashR 0
why else would he go out with you if he didn't know Russain?
kaitlyn3xo 0
don't be stupid enough to talk about people right in front of them, no matter what language it's in. people aren't stupid. ydi
jonboy21 0
lifes a bitch lol
dontfmlplzzz 6
your mom is ignorant
xoxo_Becky_xoxo 0
something like this happened to my friend lol. Her mom told her in Spanish that her boyfriend looked gay wearing skinny jeans and he was like "oh I speak Spanish ma'am.." she felt so bad..I laughed so hard
tinybear93 0
ahahahaha how funny sucks for your mom
CreateZ 0
Not as many Soviet Russia jokes as I expected, interesting...
5k3pt1k 0
damn even if he couldn't understand her that still doesn't stop ur mom being a completely rude and shallow bitch. fyl
britt6841 0
your mom's a bitch. I hate when foreigners think they can talk shit about people to their face just because it isn't our native language. You wouldn't insult me to my face in English would you? No, because that would be rude, and you'd look like an ass.
trends1 0
Bruhhhh!!!!! That was soo stupidd could your mom not just wait till he left?!?