Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving my crush a lift home from a mutual friend's house. When he got in the car, my mom asked in French, "Is this the guy you won't stop talking about? You can do so much better!" Of all the things I've told about him to my mom, I forgot to mention he's French as well. FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, I told my crush, who I've liked for a while, that I liked him. He looked at me in pure terror and walked away. FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask out my crush, only to find out that they're already in a committed relationship with my mom. FML
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Today, my crush invited me to her house and I ended up meeting her dad. Then she suddenly had to dash off because her boyfriend, whom I had no idea existed, unexpectedly had free time so they were going on a last minute date, which left me awkwardly sat there in the kitchen with her dad. FML
Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
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Top comments
davek 36
In Soviet Russia, mother insults YOU!!
amazinemo578 4
damn I felt that
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Comments (187)
1personinthiswor 0
FYL for having to be in that situation. FyourmomsL for having something she intended to be private come out, although she gets a YDI too for saying it in the first. Fyourcrush'sL for having to hear that. Damn, can't catch a break, can you guys?
punky3240 1
ahahaha this is so funny xD but seriously FYL!
flashback.miss 28
sasonzal 4
usualy Russian moms are bitches that think they better then most,but Russian girls are hot n Russian kids r good friends 2 hang out with,
redrovaa 0
Oh, and when did you get the chance to meet every single Russian mom?
bglad09 0
I wish I was fluent in russian
samicna 4
Well your mom actually helped! most people like the forbidden object! if the guy thinks your mom doesn't approve then he might just. pursue to piss her off! thank her with grandchildren from the ugly guy
lovelyliz916 5
#20, you slaughtered the spanish language. Next time just say it in english so you don't look so dumb!!
EvilDave 13
OP, you should have kissed him and told your mom she has not taste in men.
flashback.miss 28
:D
sloppyflow 1
ur mum is an asshole
bigbadtim 7
Where are all of the 'In Soviet Russia' comments?
samadams42 0
in soviet Russia language speaks you
Fortuitous 0
Man, they aren't all that funny, and you've gotta admit that they have gotten old. There was one that was pretty funny, but it's all the way up. ^^^
bigbadtim 7
Funny or not, since this FML has to do with speaking Russian, I was expecting too see lots of Soviet Russia comments.