Today, I was planning to ask a guy at school out since I had mustered up the confidence to finally tell him how I really felt. I ended up puking on him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy I like tried to talk to me. I got so nervous that I had a panic attack and puked in front of him. FML
Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML
Today, I finally made a move on the guy I've been crushing on for years… by getting so drunk that I puked in his lap. FML
Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the girl I’ve had a crush on for years. I was so nervous, I got confused and sent her a text meant for my best friend that said, "I’m about to ask her out. Pray I don’t puke on her." She responded with a laughing emoji and said, "You really need to work on your game." FML
Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML
Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Heart: "I really like this guy. We could be so good together." Brain: "Go ask him out! The only thing that could go wrong is for him to say no." Stomach: "That's what you think."
RichardPencil 32
That’s pretty common. Often, when I’d ask, girls would say the thought of going out with me makes them want to throw up.
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Comments (14)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Heart: "I really like this guy. We could be so good together." Brain: "Go ask him out! The only thing that could go wrong is for him to say no." Stomach: "That's what you think."
Jeremy Phillips 18
That might have changed the tone of that conversation slightly.
RichardPencil 32
That’s pretty common. Often, when I’d ask, girls would say the thought of going out with me makes them want to throw up.
Envy22 32
Praying that it all works out.
TumblrweedPasses 11
All the best love stories start with disaster What more could go wrong next time right
Mellowyellow15 10
Sounds like a Stan and Wendy South Park episode.
PenguinPal3017 19
Came here to say this.
-Annoyed 9
You mustered up too much courage
Takegami 22
I guess he has to know you inside and out
Charlie Given 28
Well I guess that's one way to break the ice 🤔😉
zuckerburg 21
Since the sentence is broken up with full-stops, one can interpret that telling him how you really felt, ended up in a bj. Tip: Know your limits/gag reflex.