Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML
Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML
Today, my cousin came by to visit, and we went out to a pizza restaurant for dinner. She’s a very picky eater, so much so that she takes the cheese off the pizza, despite me politely asking her not to. One of the chefs walks by, sees it, and yells, “What have you done to my beautiful pizza!?” at us. FML
Today, I had pizza for lunch, a cheesy burrito and cheese rice for dinner, topped off with a big bowl of ice cream. Three hours later, I puked it all up. I guess you never outgrow lactose intolerance. FML
Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML
Today, I was at a party, and heard a mutual acquaintance had been arrested. I asked what for, and was told "Cheese pizza." I yelled in confusion and outrage, since I thought they were joking. I was told later in private what "Cheese pizza" meant. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML
Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
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Top comments
CoGhostRider 31
Might as well go order a steak now
domiirose28 9
And I bet you thought it was delicious!
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Comments (173)
154rct 7
If your a vegan, why do you eat cheese?
Isa_fml 20
Vegetarian, dumbass. Read the post.
geko911 22
125 - Did you try to reference IRobot or is it just me?
Roskie 16
#101 I'm not going to address the accuracy of your comment, because I really don't know, but I will say that horse meat is no more vegetarian than chicken, so I don't really see the relevance.
magaliwoodrock 19
You know stuff happens, it doesn't mean you're no longer vegetarian as long as you try your best that it won't happen again.
tehdarkness 21
The only thing dumber than a vegetarian is a drunk vegetarian.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
You didn't kill the chicken yourself. It was dead when you got there.
Euronymous93 29
Yeah, it's not like you're preventing the murder of animals for food. If you don't eat meat, someone else will. Quit torturing yourself and eat some meat, OP. YDI
Lawlipop07 13
#141 and #143, Even if you don't kill it yourself, you're supporting the people who do it for you. It's supply and demand. The less people buy meat, the less meat that needs to be provided.
thepersephone666 11
You guys should watch some videos about where your meat comes from and how they house and treat the animals, you'll change your minds real fast
deathfyre8 13
YDI for being vegetarian.
xs4u 13
get over it drama queen. life goes on. no one really gives a rat's ass
MarblesZA 1
Don't worry, Not all cheese is vegetarian as many use animal rennet.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
YDI for getting drunk.