Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML
Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML
Today, my cousin came by to visit, and we went out to a pizza restaurant for dinner. She’s a very picky eater, so much so that she takes the cheese off the pizza, despite me politely asking her not to. One of the chefs walks by, sees it, and yells, “What have you done to my beautiful pizza!?” at us. FML
Today, I had pizza for lunch, a cheesy burrito and cheese rice for dinner, topped off with a big bowl of ice cream. Three hours later, I puked it all up. I guess you never outgrow lactose intolerance. FML
Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML
Today, I was at a party, and heard a mutual acquaintance had been arrested. I asked what for, and was told "Cheese pizza." I yelled in confusion and outrage, since I thought they were joking. I was told later in private what "Cheese pizza" meant. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML
Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
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Top comments
CoGhostRider 31
Might as well go order a steak now
domiirose28 9
And I bet you thought it was delicious!
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Comments (173)
piff7 14
Don't sweat it. I don't understand why people are saying you deserved it. Pretty much everyone drinks and does things they wouldn't normally do. Don't be so judgmental guys. If it was you in a similar situation you wouldn't want people telling you "oh you deserved that". Idk if it's just because of the fact you're vegetarian or because you were drunk, either way I don't think you deserved it.
Tidus0 17
I don't understand all the thumbs down :/ her cousin clearly knew the op was vegetarian and should have not let her eat the chicken pizza or ordered/heated it. It was a stupid thing to do as a) the op has chosen to be a vegetarian for a reason and b) after prolonged periods the human body can build intolerance towards things it hasn't consumed in a period of time.
qjdb 8
You deserve it for being a veggie
lokman_fml 7
#79 - yes, it does make them less of a vegetarian, they have meat in their belly. Otherwise I could claim to be vegetarian in between meals
kiki969 5
guessing you've had a big missed steak for all those years.
WeskersSexslave 15
at least you had your protein nutrients
raegunXD 6
First world problems.
an3ph 20
Idiot on many levels.
blackvyper 8
Your vegetarian streak ended. Start that clock over.
cookie1207 19
Dumbass!