Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML
Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a drive while he did some errands. I waited for him in the car with my bare feet on his dashboard, like I usually do. As I waited, I noticed a woman blatantly taking pictures of my feet from across the lot, and she winked at me. I cowered in my seat until he came back. FML
Today, my husband managed to crash the car because he was too busy looking at an attractive girl with her leggings wedged up her ass crack, and I know he only crashed because he was looking at her, because I was in the car with him when it happened. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to look at my phone and I turned it away from her. Now she’s convinced I’m cheating on her. In reality, I’m too embarrassed to admit it’s because Facebook is showing me nonstop ads for laxatives after I ordered some two days ago. FML
Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
borntoperform 14
I guess she didn't think that one through...
djwilson50 3
Sounds like shes feeling insecure!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
borntoperform 14
I guess she didn't think that one through...
monkeysareyummy 0
*crashes into pedestrians*
datguyuno 5
Crazy bitched be crazy
Kyzahhh 7
Yep OP's girlfriend is a moron
nadyy14 8
Your girlfriend was no thinking straight
zurisbloodyrose 0
Women. Am I right?
CABOOSE8563 0
No.
amyjadee 0
Serves you right.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Wow overreaction much? She acts as if a really muscular guy with a 6-pack and no shirt on walked by she wouldn't cop a glance. It's just looking, not like you are planning on cheating on her with a bus ad.
chlorinegreen 27
What were you thinking??? Looking at a billboard sign!! Shame on you!!
AnonymousTroll 2
I had no idea billboards were now on busses.
Marksman46 5
but it was executed like a boss...
night_ryder13 5
Bitches be crazy
Reyo 2
Your girlfriend has a hard time grasping the concept of "cause and effect"...doesn't she?
puppie406 23
Must be blonde! blondes, retards without public realization
djwilson50 3
Sounds like shes feeling insecure!
jizzwold 21
Or suicidal
hotPinklipstick 24
If she is so insecure that she feels the need to put you as well as herself in danger over an ad, she needs to grow up! Advertisements are made to catch the eye, it's not like you are walking it to the images used. OP either talk to her about her insecurities and work things out, or dump her.
bossroyd 4
Or OP is dating a blonde...
kikiwi_fml 9
She's a jealous tard.
BeefyQueef 5
I don't blame her. Those Victoria's Secret models are HOT
MinSY 2
I have to agree, they are hot.
chlorinegreen 27
What is with all the blonde jokes lately?? Get a new line.
YakuzaxGeneralz 9
She could be insecure all she wants that doesn't mean she has to kill them both.
skizza_fml 3
I thought my ex was bad, even she never went this far, my advice is dump her before she gets you killed
THEKAISER 4
Thats dumb
Philliesfan9391 3
So is your comment.
pdHbq 2
So is his/her profile pic
StoryOfTheYear 15
OMG I feel retarded. I sat and stared at that picture for like a minute before it dawned on me that raichu wasn't there as a prop.
BayleeWasHere 1
I bet she was blonde.
leogirl95 12
Keep your eyes on the road! You could get yourselves killed!!!
mariyaaa 0
Thank you captain obvious
Pentium_4 27
Derp
Captain0bv10us 0
Another helpful PSA from Leogirl95
StoryOfTheYear 15
It's also the best way to do a 360 triple-flip in a Buick off a bridge. I sit by I-94 with the lawn chair watching this stuff go down. Don't discourage it, natural selection is what makes the world go 'round.
leogirl95 12
94- Thank you Captain Obvious.
MinecraftDragon 5
Brilliant deduction, Holmes.
Marksman46 5
82 and 117, thank you for telling it like it is... and stealing what i was gonna say...
eltapatio16 5
Don't crash!!
pdHbq 2
Did you know that -insert percentage here- of road accidents are caused by over-protective girlfriends?
borntoperform 14
Did you know that 89% of statistics are made up on the spot?
docscientist 10
Did you know that 92% of the time someone uses statistics in a comment, someone replies to state that a large portion of statistics are made up?
xSonic 9
Did you know that 100 percent of the time, there's an ass like me that's a combo breaker
Philliesfan9391 3
Did you know that only 80% of comments have a percentage in them?
Cathy_Nguyen 0
140%
Cathy_Nguyen 0
140%
Cathy_Nguyen 0
140%
nixter5 18
51, 53, 54 - Nice triple post there.
Justforlolz 14
Did you know that Cathy_Nguyen triple-posted? True ******* story.
death_dolphin24 0
Did you know that 69% of people find something dirty in this sentence?
antmanzero 8
C-c-c-c-coombo breeakeerrr Release the burials and flaming :3
jaredjudd21 2
Spam hacks much
xSonic 9
Cathy.....this can't be the real her??
xSonic 9
Wow dude **** her
upyourzlolz 11
Literally?
xSonic 9
Hard
leogirl95 12
Good.
drlove78843 6
Every day
Captain0bv10us 0
Or your father's creepy intense stare...
Gamaryn 0
Doesn't matter had sex
pdHbq 2
I saw you edit that 'to' into a 'too'... Good job :)
individual_01 0
I know right
QWERTYCommander 5
Break up. That relationship sounds unhealthy.
twofirstnames 12
I'd prefer the word 'unsafe'.
GabbyCharityM 0
I'd prefer the word 'suicidal'.