Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML
Today, I told my cousin it would be okay if he stayed the weekend after a fight with his wife. He didn't tell me he was bringing his 4 kids. They've watched funny cat videos for hours and they laugh like maniacs. FML
Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML
Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
Today, I was complaining to my best friend about my weird cousin and how annoying he is whenever I see him (which isn't often, thankfully). She replied, “Isn’t that my boyfriend you're talking about?” Turns out, yes. Yes, he is. FML
Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML
Today, my aunt informed me that my cousin's only problem with his girlfriend is that she's not me. FML
Today, my eleven-year-old cousin, who lives with me, has discovered Old Town Road. He’s been playing it for four hours on repeat and I’m ready to scream. FML
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Top comments
chrisp87 11
I'm assuming your cousin is a teenager who probably plays Xbox and screams ( Come at me bro )
Bakarra 22
Does he use hash tags unnecessarily too? #swag#yolo#420#FML #bouttogetburied
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Comments (185)
jensen21 19
Not everyone from Oklahoma is like that. That's where I'm from, and we make fun of people who say it too.
Plasmalaser 11
Well if u dont need food when u got swag, take away his food because YOLO, right?
ninaskyez 12
I have a friend who does the same thing!!! Its soo annoying!!
pattayarick 8
Let me guess: hat on sideways and pants way too big?
etishuman22 32
My 15 year old brother says YOLO all the time, but he claims to be using it "ironically". I don't know about the rest of the world but I feel using YOLO in any circumstance is idiotic.
xeka 10
My sides..
heyyhowsitgoing 9
Kill it slowly and painfully.
W1ngnu7 5
I'm from Oklahoma and on our behalf I apologize.
HeartOfLead 24
*YOLO = slang australian term which stands for your ostrich is likely to ovulate. You're welcome.
gardenwhipped3 14
correct response (1st offense): How long have you been a douchebag? all remaining offenses: Just say douchebag everytime he says it.