Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML
Today, I told my cousin it would be okay if he stayed the weekend after a fight with his wife. He didn't tell me he was bringing his 4 kids. They've watched funny cat videos for hours and they laugh like maniacs. FML
Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML
Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
Today, I was complaining to my best friend about my weird cousin and how annoying he is whenever I see him (which isn't often, thankfully). She replied, “Isn’t that my boyfriend you're talking about?” Turns out, yes. Yes, he is. FML
Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML
Today, my aunt informed me that my cousin's only problem with his girlfriend is that she's not me. FML
Today, my eleven-year-old cousin, who lives with me, has discovered Old Town Road. He’s been playing it for four hours on repeat and I’m ready to scream. FML
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Top comments
chrisp87 11
I'm assuming your cousin is a teenager who probably plays Xbox and screams ( Come at me bro )
Bakarra 22
Does he use hash tags unnecessarily too? #swag#yolo#420#FML #bouttogetburied
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Comments (185)
emala1096 17
*twitch*
Gio_fml 6
Teach him "Hakuna Matata"
simoncat 11
Yeah, I'm so old that I had to look it up. SWAG- A stupid saying that's overused. People 90 per cent are dumb teenagers, 10 per cent are little ass kids trying to be cool use it for EVERYTHING and also as their facebook name thinking that shit's cute: 'I just opened a cabinet, SWAG.' 'I just fell down, lol, SWAG.' 'SWAGNIFICENT' '(your name) idontgiveafuq gotsswagg' 'lives in swagtown' 'works at swagville' 'That show was so SWAG.' 'I just finished brushing my teeth, SWAG.' 'Hey guys, just woke up, SWAG.' 'Lol, I got kicked out of class, SWAG.' 'I cursed the teacher out, SWAG.' 'Tumbling on tumblr in class, SWAG.' '(your name) the swag god' 'texting in class, SWAG' ... 'SWAG.' You don't have no motherfucking swag.
jmacfan1 16
Just to be clear not all Oklahomans are dumb. A lot of us are very smart. Plus there are celebs that are from here like Brad Pitt, Carrie Underwood, Nadia Comaneci and Toby Keith. Also not all of us go around saying swag or yolo. So all you commenters quit insulting my great state
doglover100 29
Remind him it is 2013. Swag and Yolo are a thing of the past. My iPod doesn't even try to correct the words so I guess it's now apart of the iPod/iPhone vocabulary.
ZacZ 8
Kids in Oklahoma these days...
lovelypunky 11
I'm from Oklahoma and everyone is saying yolo and swag ( it's annoying as all get out ) fyl
MrConcise 35
Curb that use with something more creative. I prefer #fuckedyobitch as a comeback and #whodont for general annoyance. You have to remember to add the hashtag though, otherwise he won't get the hint. Subtlety is a gift. I think this guy is a handful, though. #whodont
Ziggy122 15
Teach him "carpe diem".
TiddleyMoney 7
he's from Oklahoma!! that doesn't exist in Oklahoma!!!!