Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML
Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML
Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML
Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, as well as for the past two weeks, my brother has been making up songs about farts and singing them non-stop. He's 26. FML
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML
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Top comments
jjsaunders32 6
Just say #myfootupyourass
CommentModerated 17
Am I the only one who still calls it "pound"?
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Comments (92)
jjsaunders32 6
Just say #myfootupyourass
pickleOnABun 10
from the comment below it would be read as ''pound myfootupyourass''
fortune789 17
#humanityistrulydead
CommentModerated 17
Am I the only one who still calls it "pound"?
blurose 6
I have to remind myself that it's not a pound sign when I read it lol
tygerarmy 35
When it's used on a phone then I do. In text I don't. Please hit the pound key or number sign to continue.
sarah6786 14
No, and it's fortunate their are still people out there like that.
mackdeezy 22
Are is the right word.... but you did correctly differentiate there/their
MrSassypants 34
If you call it pound, then it brings new meaning to the girl I saw use it when she was describing her boyfriend as "#mysexyboyfriend."
perdix 31
I call it a "tic-tac-toe board," so reading Twitter tweets takes me forever!
missd420 16
#16 Want!
TheDoctor10 28
I still call it "the number symbol"
HighasaCloud 46
@16 Twitter is a very interesting format of staves
alex_gen 39
It's hashtag in reference to tags online, and pound sign in reference to numbers. LEARN THE DIFFERENCE.
Spider_Web 11
Its technical term is the "Octothorpe." The more you know
Nyx_fml 23
Look at the silver lining: He was considerate enough to do it before every sentence and not before every word. Oh, who am I kidding... no silver lining here. #yourBrotherIsSuchALittleTwerp
silvercamaro 22
#sheshouldjustkickhisass
mFUNdo21 17
#KillItWithFireBeforeItLaysEggs
LexSwift 17
#TheStruggleOfAssociatingWithPeopleWhoCantSeparateRealLifeFromSocialMedia
justjeffo7 14
IKR
imlifeless2 25
#PeopleWhoWriteOneWordedOpinionsAsResponses should #ShutTheFuckUp #GodDammit
bryan_1989 14
This generation sucks
misspulkadot24 17
*sigh* here we go again.
golden_warrior 23
I know the next comment. "Not everyone in this generation are like that." Which will be repeated probably five more times in 5 different ways
tygerarmy 35
Reply back "hash tag" and duct tape his mouth closed.
FailBear920 19
Silence is golden and duct tape is silver. Or something like that. Your idea is #PrettySweet
Welshite 40
I'm weeping at these comments.
imlifeless2 25
IT HAS BEGUN!
Sal_G_63 5
#WhySoSerious?
mFUNdo21 17
#CryMeARiver
narkill 13
Hashtag, What's wrong with that?
jasmine2301 25
#fail
Grauncho 27
They aren't hashbrowns.
BLEED_MY_SOUL_07 9
Everything.
TyT63 12
#hashslingingslasher
NessaMae 19
I'm so sorry