Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML
Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I learned that every podcast bro is a fucking liar and a vile hypocrite. Men seem to like me, but the minute I tell them I’m a virgin and saving myself for marriage, suddenly they’re gone faster than a spooked horse. What happened to the low/no body count, huh boys?! FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML
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Top comments
lovelikewoe 0
well, it's obviously your fault because you constantly lied.
cheesenuggrt 5
YDI for lying. Also I'm a cocksucker.
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Comments (233)
rv0111 3
dumbass. I wish I was a virgin. and I'm a 19 yr old guy
KnucklesDeep 5
Why are people going on about emotions and fetishes when there is a perfectly good moron to make fun of?
jamieexo 2
sorry bud......that's a YDI for lying
toohottiedottie 2
.... dumbass.
kewpiesuicide 29
YDI. Girls dont even like players so you must have been bragging to show off to your guy friends. So now all the guys like you and women wont go near you. Might wanna switch teams
SadinSherman 16
Are you Jay from the Inbetweeners?
Rafe2244 0
thats lying not bragging
tekomarie 0
your life sucks because you're still a virgin, but you deserved it.
mnkyc_mnkydo 5
how did you not see this coming? YDI
MoonTiger 4
And you didn't see this backfiring because?.. You totally deserved it, though you might still be able to redeem yourself if you tell them the truth. It will be embarrassing, yes, but better alltogether