Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML
Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I learned that every podcast bro is a fucking liar and a vile hypocrite. Men seem to like me, but the minute I tell them I’m a virgin and saving myself for marriage, suddenly they’re gone faster than a spooked horse. What happened to the low/no body count, huh boys?! FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lovelikewoe 0
well, it's obviously your fault because you constantly lied.
cheesenuggrt 5
YDI for lying. Also I'm a cocksucker.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (233)
AllForMyGirl 3
YDI....
Nekro_kat 1
Dumbass-.-"
o8poa8o 0
I was in that boat for awhile, but I turned down a good amount of girls then got over my own issues and now it's alll gravy, guessing you got some too if your making shit up.
longer09 0
douchebag.
nevercomingdown 0
Been there... I was the school ***** and everyone of the guys thought it was funny to pay me and say they slept with me too... I'm still a virgin and all the lies I told bite me in the ass
Dilwann 27
Except that it wasn't you, but a movie plot.
friedeggyolive 7
Hey, this could be come a romantic love story: you have a terrible reputation, a girl meets you and falls in love with you despite it, you tell her the truth, she either a) gets mad but forgives you (in true romance movie fashion) or b) doesn't care because she loves you. Yep, this is a rom-com waiting to happen.
bagleface 6
No girl wants to go out with u coz u sound like a douch
schylur_shay93 0
Well someone's an idiot
512bigt 10
ydi for using "swinger" out of term
Flabbers 3
You just gave a new meaning to FML! =D