Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was waiting at a traffic light. I saw my neighbour and her new boyfriend crossing the road, then noticed as he started grabbing his crotch, but thought nothing of it. They both then pulled down their pants and urinated in the middle of the busy intersection. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML
Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML
Today, a creep called me out in the street and asked me why I was in that part of that street, because he "knows " I live in another part of the street, and he found it "odd" that I was there. He was smiling all that time too. FML
Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is two miles away from the park. FML
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Top comments
Zestus 19
im sure hes a nice guy. i water my plants naked all the time. its not like they have eyes or anything
flashback.miss 28
Should've walked past the couple, OP. Chances are they were so caught up in their anger at each other, they wouldn't have even noticed you.
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Comments (69)
Zestus 19
im sure hes a nice guy. i water my plants naked all the time. its not like they have eyes or anything
maryiah 21
They may not have eyes, but the poor pedestrians do.
itsmichellebitch 16
I thought everyone did that.
nightbirdblue 27
It helps the plants grow better. I thought everyone knew that.
ShelbieLB0731 10
Nudity helps them grow.
skyeyez9 25
Potatoes have eyes.
DyslexicPanda 12
As do coconuts. I like coconuts...
Bcfrmkc816 17
Well said. Maybe op is the creepy one checking him out instead of turning away maybe op was turned on.
Vitualamen 11
Guess its the lesser of two evils.. If that helps.
Damian95 16
A better description would be out of the frying pan and into the fire. And by better I mean literally opposite of what you said.
doodlecloud 27
I'd actually prefer to walk past the couple. I doubt they'd care that you're walking past, that's what the sidewalk is for. Plus if it looked like it might get violent I'd want to be there to help protect the victim...I'm unlikely to risk my life for them but sometimes just having a spectator can calm someone down a bit and dissuade them from doing something stupid...
flashback.miss 28
Should've walked past the couple, OP. Chances are they were so caught up in their anger at each other, they wouldn't have even noticed you.
Cupcake040 17
My thought was that the couple chose to argue in public on their driveway.....if they really didn't want anyone hearing their argument they should have gone inside.
crymore007 11
Maybe the guy refused to eat the girl out after she blew him in the driveway in the middle of that party?
RedPillSucks 33
The argument was probably something along the lines of why she slept with the cop that arrested him.
deepunder 17
Maybe the couple was arguing about how creepy the 'watering in his underwear' neighbor was. P.S. I haven't read the comments below this but I expected someone to say this by now.
drjohnnyboy 15
If you foresaw the guy in the underpants in hindsight, you probably would have taken the bickering couple. Sorry, OP!
photoquilty 6
Foresaw in hindsight?
Joe9024 20
What kind of mindfuck comment is this!?
RedPillSucks 33
in underpants in hindsight. Is that like underpants with holes in the back?
Grand_Cookie 21
Ummmm, you like it when I water these plants? Yeah, you do.
CocaColaPepsi 13
I don't blame him for staring, it's so awkward for some stranger to walk across the street right in front of my house...OP sounds kind of creepy. (I don't want to get thumbs down so I'll just make sure you guys know it's a joke, it's a joke)
ozpunker 20
I hope "watering the pants" isn't a euphemism.
FightMyLiger 19
*plants You should stop watering your pants around age 4. They don't grow... Silly!
Joe9024 20
You know, that's still better than getting in the middle of potential domestic abuse.
jarrettd 27
Well awkward situation avoided.
olpally 33
Why did the chicken cross the road? Ehh, I got nothing, that's just creepy as ****.
Kalipczo 21
What's wrong with watering the plants in one's undies?
gmian 34
Absolutely nothing!
RedPillSucks 33
How the hell did plants get in your undies?!
itsmichellebitch 16
Look on the bright side. At least he wasn't masturbating.
nightbirdblue 27
and looking directly at you as he did so