Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML
Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML
Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML
Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, while trying to get over all the emotional things I've been going through, I forgot that my bedroom door was open and here my silly behind was dancing in my underwear while my roommate watched on. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML
Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML
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Top comments
rhcpbeezy 0
I love how this is phrased haha
caancoha 0
[Cont.] I hope you winked at him and moaned out, "I thought you should have a taste of the next year of your life" as you finished, got up, stroked his face, and shrugged on your robe.
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Comments (124)
mastory96 0
hah! I'm sure the people who don't get it are the little 12 year olds on here. because honestly, how would a 15+ year old NOT get it? OP: haha... good luck with him. I hope he comes around to your seduction powers. and to those who don't get THAT, it was also sarcasm.
WyattF 0
@24: I'm 14 and I got it...so...! lol
htownlove 0
I'm 12 and I got it so I just proved you wrong! lol
ImTheAlpha 30
I'm 12 and I got it. Døn't judge us. My best friend's 6 year old niece would have gotten the sarcasm.
EpicLeeGames 12
I'm 12 but unlike those that don't get it I have an IQ of above 80
dotVillain 1
You're marking your territory all wrong.
dncroy 0
I'm gonna be so happy if both turn gay (if not already, no idea abput that) and live happily ever after.. An aweome first-date story this would be =)
mollytamale 1
I think it was implied that he was almost naked and it was awkward. You guys don't get sarcasm...
littlegolferboy 4
I wouldn't even jack off on my couch if I lived alone, let alone if knew I was going to be living with someone else.
FML_like_a_boss 0
You totally deserved that one
Fingers0689 0
Roflroflrofl
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for playing Clay Aiken music while you were touching yourself.
doggie3 0
Yeah. It would've.
doggie3 0
Mastory97, I'm eleven and I soooioo get it.