Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML
Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML
Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML
Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, while trying to get over all the emotional things I've been going through, I forgot that my bedroom door was open and here my silly behind was dancing in my underwear while my roommate watched on. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML
Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML
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Top comments
rhcpbeezy 0
I love how this is phrased haha
caancoha 0
[Cont.] I hope you winked at him and moaned out, "I thought you should have a taste of the next year of your life" as you finished, got up, stroked his face, and shrugged on your robe.
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Comments (124)
its_jaspertasic 0
This is awesomely phrased. Your life does indeed suck. It kind of depends on how long you had to live with them, too, I guess.
ishirticapslock 0
Hahaha. I would've read this and moved on but for the wording. That's hilarious. (The wording, I mean. That first impression sucks.)
idk333333 0
Well yeah its awkward at that time but who knows? I bet in a couple months or so maybe longer/shorter you guys will just laugh your asses off about it.
kekerules 0
I hope you finished before helping him move in. Prioritise.
Starcadia 0
This is too much win for one post!!! I can't stop LOL'ing :P
Garrote_fml 0
Sounds like you wanted some college experimentation.
che_williams 0
who the **** does that in the first few days of school when you know the other roomate hasnt come in yet?
iFruit 0
LMFAOOO. Marry me <3
clayton18 0
Your Room mate Win's
minenotyours 0
I love the way this is written! "Today i moved into my college dorm today and found my new roommate naked, playing with himself on the couch. i think I'm gay now. fml"
blurgmine_fml 0
hahaha he shoulda said need a hand? I woulda just bent her over and get to work hahaha since she was warming ip already
Castfire 0
the OP said the roommate was a man.