Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML
Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML
Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML
Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, while trying to get over all the emotional things I've been going through, I forgot that my bedroom door was open and here my silly behind was dancing in my underwear while my roommate watched on. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML
Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML
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Top comments
rhcpbeezy 0
I love how this is phrased haha
caancoha 0
[Cont.] I hope you winked at him and moaned out, "I thought you should have a taste of the next year of your life" as you finished, got up, stroked his face, and shrugged on your robe.
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Comments (124)
afulks78 11
Go in the bathroom next time ?
catlover98 0
Wow....
wolfsheart 14
Today, I met my new roommate. He was masturbating on the couch when I walked in. FML
marti1497 10
hahaa the way this is written is just amazing. (: lol
gabrayal 10
Op's roommate Today, is my first day of college and as soon as I walked into the dorm, I saw my roommate touching himself on the couch. Naked. Welcome to college. It's gonna be a long year!. Fml
sarah2144 14
Didn't you know he was moving in that day? Why would you even jack off on the couch and run the risk of him walking in and seeing you?
NorthFML 0
At least now u have some cumpanay
kittykat1501 31
That is HORRIBLE spelling!
EpicLeeGames 12
#120 its a pun douchebag
awesomeopossem 3
I'm confused
cmtxbe 6
You really,really, really deserved it. First of all why would you do it right in the "living room" knowing your new roommate can move in, any given time. Have some dignity and do it in your bedroom, at night, with the door closed...
ecstasy22 12
Nice introduction