Today, my colleague and I played yet another wonderful game of 'Tapeworm or Toilet Paper?' in the homeless shelter's toilets we were asked to clean. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
Today, I happily went to an interview after job searching for months. I learned a large part of my job would be cleaning the toilets. Every. Single. Hour. I used to lecture at a university until budget cuts happened. FML
Today, I've got two family members over to stay. So far, I have found a dirty Q-Tip, a nasty toe nail and had to clean up period blood from toilets, bin, and the floor. FML
Today, I went into the tanning room at work, where the lady in there last had decided the trash can was a toilet and pooped in it. Before she sat, she took the time to wrap the edges in paper towels, I guess in case anyone else had done this before her. I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I share a bathroom with two other people and we divide tasks equally. They take care of making it dirty; I take care of making it clean. FML
Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML
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Top comments
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
I'd feel worse for the poor people who have to use these toilets...
PipingMouse 14
Make sure you don't touch the toilet seats with any of your body parts because then you'll be playing 'Herpes or Cold Sore?'
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Comments (53)
Mattaguirre_ 15
that's not nice
Jreslier 15
That's a shit job.
PipingMouse 14
It's nice that the homeless people have clean toilet seats :) +1 towards my faith in humanity
addictedtoIASIP 14
It's true, you wouldn't like it either if it were your job
Nilorak 24
Can I join?
Sakuraashita 15
That's naaasty!
tony1891 22
thats a shitty job
Nilorak 24
No shit.
EverestMelting 23
I appreciated that shitty comment, #5.
WolfyGrace 24
I'm sure there was lots of shit, #5.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
I'd feel worse for the poor people who have to use these toilets...
201chasew 22
I would be scarred for life if I shit out a tapeworm
eaglerob 20
Bank all that karma, you're awesomesauce
dawood_k 27
So what was it... Tapeworm or paper
devildog562 33
With the tape worm you get a nice new body and get to eat whatever you want, And possibly have them spread up to your brain!
ohSNAPyall 27
But are there any drawbacks?
devildog562 33
Negative, weight loss and a three foot worm seems okay to me !
candyolympics 17
#48, More like a 50 foot worm that can live up to 20 years in your intestines.
thebigtwinkie 28
may the shit puns beging
PipingMouse 14
Make sure you don't touch the toilet seats with any of your body parts because then you'll be playing 'Herpes or Cold Sore?'
WCARlover 35
There is so much wrong with this. Cold sores are heroes, and they aren't spread by toilet seats
PipingMouse 14
I know that...I did go to health class in high school.
WCARlover 35
Okay, your comment would suggest otherwise
PipingMouse 14
Okay, sorry, how about this brainiac? 'Gonnorrhea or Syphilis?' I didn't know that FML comments were so "serious"....
thejimler 9
#14 they're heroes? I must have missed the pilot episode of the failed cartoon for "Captain Coldsore!"
thesmeagol 22
thats unfortunate for you 28. Twas an amazing episode.