Today, I went on a hike. About two miles into the five mile trail, my stomach started to bubble and I realized there were no bathrooms nearby. My only options were to literally shit my pants or shit in a bush. Well, I shit in the bush and had no tissue to wipe. I hate having stomach issues. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, 4 miles into a mountain hike with my crush, I suddenly felt a stomach pain, followed by the urge for explosive diarrhea. I had to stand still with my butt clenched to prevent shitting myself. There were no nearby bathrooms, and I didn't have any toilet paper. It was messy. She'll never see me the same. FML
Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML
Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our local supermarket. Ten feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants' legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new supermarket, maybe a new town. FML
Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. I swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Charlie Given 28
As someone who has Crohn's disease ,I understand your pain. when I want to go hiking I have to carry a backpack with a mini hand shovel for digging a pooper hole, TP, biodegradable wet wipes and extra pants and socks just in case. Yeah it sucks to have to be that prepared but it's better than being stuck indoors bored out of your mind. 🤷♂️
Elizabeth Burley 22
I also have Crohns and always carry TP and an assortment of other hygiene items with me no matter where I go because I never know what sort of situation I may get into. What a wonderful life 😅
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (2)
Charlie Given 28
As someone who has Crohn's disease ,I understand your pain. when I want to go hiking I have to carry a backpack with a mini hand shovel for digging a pooper hole, TP, biodegradable wet wipes and extra pants and socks just in case. Yeah it sucks to have to be that prepared but it's better than being stuck indoors bored out of your mind. 🤷♂️
Elizabeth Burley 22
I also have Crohns and always carry TP and an assortment of other hygiene items with me no matter where I go because I never know what sort of situation I may get into. What a wonderful life 😅
SirEnigM0nk 22
As long as the bush isn't poison ivy or thorny, you should be ok.