dominator152
United States
Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Abington, United States
Today, my father used my birth certificate as a beer coaster. Accident or not, it pretty much perfectly sums up our relationship. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I borrowed my dad's laptop to type an essay. While I was saving it, I noticed some curious looking files and I opened them. They were rejection letters from all the colleges I had applied to. My dad had been forging them so he wouldn't have to pay for my tuition bills. FML
seriously?
Manassas, United States
Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML
Anonymous
Germany
Today, I failed to get my driver's licence. My father was the instructor. FML
art_major
United Kingdom
Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML
collegestudent
Alexa, play "What's My Age Again?" by Blink182
Today, my dad asked me if I needed crayons for school. I'm going to college this fall. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
PerpetuallyHappy
Rochester, United States
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
thebeachisthatway
Worcester, United States
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
allinicolesmh
United States
Today, my dad said he can't go to my graduation because he has to work. He got fired a month ago. FML
Top comments
mixxanber 0
did his pens work?
JesseJaymz 0
decide his face makes a good pin cushion
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Comments (296)
mixxanber 0
did his pens work?
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Well durrrrrrrrrrrrr. That's the whole point of the FML. :P
LexaDear 0
Well as long as it was a coo l colored pen....
JoshTheMaggot 8
omfg I thought there was an I between that n and s lol. and I'm sure the pens don't work since he can't afford paper to test them on lol.
Trickyklown 0
yeah does it? If it doesn't eff your dads life for having to buy a new pen!! D:
VvCJHvV 6
Just like you trying to be cool and insulting them for commenting in the same place.
JoshTheMaggot 8
omfg another hypocrate complaining about people replying to the first comment. mind blown :o
LexaDear 0
Great, another fag pretending that his comment will make anyone stop commenting to the first comment.
Nylecroc 0
Haha Josh I'm sure his diploma is good for testing that too
Trickyklown 0
Oh no you caught me!! D: I'm such an attention *****!! Wait aren't you doing the same? OH Gawd I have feed the troll! D: Also got ninja'd be everyone else!
cookiemobzta 0
YDI for not hanging it up and/or not keeping it in a safe
LexaDear 0
thanks, I'd love some cookies. do they come with milk?
Bertj 5
hahaa well you can always get a new one.. right? I mean it wouldnt be logical that years of work could be destroyed by an evil daddeh who got himself a pen.
Trickyklown 0
Oh wait I don't get a cookie nor chocolate milk? D: Wait!!! I can't be a troll cause I don't have a basement!!?
LexaDear 0
30-I like your hair :D
MaxSnacks 0
Hi wifey :)
MaxSnacks 0
Hey FirstBornQuatrocorn! :D
LexaDear 0
Wiiife!!!<3 I have an attic, does that count?
MaxSnacks 0
How are you on this fine night? :)
Trickyklown 0
Eff yeah!!!! I loves me some milk and cookiez!!! Om nom nom nom!!! Also I don't think an attic counts only lions, witches, and woredrobes live there!! D:
LexaDear 0
oh and 30, marry me? :3
MaxSnacks 0
Cool Nerd. Aha jk. Use the recon! D:<
SirSwali 0
it's just a diploma dude. r u not planning on further education?
MaxSnacks 0
Wifey are you cheating on me? ;O Asshole. Sike. I wuv you <3:)
OMGJASMiNE 0
I love ummm my wife!
MaxSnacks 0
Good dude, just beat from the day xP.
LexaDear 0
you don't see my cheating words, remember? fine, but my lion will eat anyone who tells menit doesn't count >:o fuuuuu
Trickyklown 0
#52 what if #30 had a deformed face?? D: I mean why else would he be covering it? DUN DUN DUN! But I do find that menu extremely attractive!
BoyFromTheFuture 0
I've decided that my diploma is better served as toilet paper.
Trickyklown 0
#61 Can I borrow your diploma I ran out of tp at my house!
LexaDear 0
I dun care, he's still mine. jasmines more attractive than the menu though :o
Jordanxxlll 0
of it was a high school diploma, who gives a shit about that know one cares about those
MaxSnacks 0
Oh yeah, I forgot x3. Btw, Im digging that trippy fish in your background. :)
pingpongpickle 8
i have an fml : its fricken cold and i cant find my phone
MaxSnacks 0
Pickle friend! :D
LexaDear 0
thank you, I made it for my musical theater shit. guys now I really want cookies :(
Trickyklown 0
Yes I do agree that Jasmine is more attractive then the menu she gets extra points for the zebra print!! You're not that bad looking yourself.
pingpongpickle 8
maxiee !
MaxSnacks 0
I'll give you mine wifey :O They're fresh from MY oven..
OMGJASMiNE 0
70 marry me(:
MaxSnacks 0
How are you ? :D
LexaDear 0
71-oh baby ;D haha. wifey-you're oven, eh? jasmine- fer sure! :D
Nena713 0
#54 I don't get your point. OP never stated what type of diploma. For all we know this might be a harvard medical school diploma. Either way, people cherish dimplomas no matter what type.
OMGJASMiNE 0
hellz yea bitchz Im marryd! (: now I don't have to lie saying I have a wife(x yayyy
pingpongpickle 8
i'm good and you?? :)
MaxSnacks 0
Yesh, the bestestester cookies always come from my oven.. :D They're free, too.
mmmfunyons 0
haaaa bummmerr :p
Trickyklown 0
78~ Yes oh baby indeed!! :D Anyone wanna marry me so I can get my green card?? I tried getting it while playing UNO but no luck.
MaxSnacks 0
Samme just tired :) Gonna hit it in a few.
mmmfunyons 0
hahahah I thought ferrsureee op said penis-tester.
LexaDear 0
I want cookies then. funyon boy! I'll marry you :3 but clowns scare me...
sammiller4 3
first born I love mw2!
MaxSnacks 0
Aha :) With my special milk? (Dirty minds commence)
pingpongpickle 8
me tooo..omg my cat is sitting RIGHT in front of the computer but i dont wana move her :(
mmmfunyons 0
lexaaa girl!
Trickyklown 0
Yay!!! Now I can go to the greatest country in zee world!!? And don't be scared I'm a nice Klown I'm scared Jasmine might kill me like that zebra she is wearing! D: #92 GASP! girls play zee video juegos?!?! mama Mia!
MaxSnacks 0
Ah that sucks :P Just stay on your iPod, or are you on the computer?
LexaDear 0
ewwie, but you're my wife, how's that possible? afp can suck it D:
pingpongpickle 8
ayyy uni :)
MaxSnacks 0
Aha, I just pull it out of my fridge silly. Jeebus.
LexaDear 0
achoo! I think I'm alergic(sp?) to clowns :(
pingpongpickle 8
is that on xbox uni?
LexaDear 0
orly? that's not so "special"
mmmfunyons 0
I spy a giant fish swimming on your wallllll. whaaaaa
LexaDear 0
my fishie needs a name :P
pingpongpickle 8
aw she just fell off the table! i swear i didnt push her hahah how many cats do you have
mmmfunyons 0
hmmmm red fishie? ;D
Trickyklown 0
Oh noooo!!! That isn't bueno!! You should get a shot for that! :O
MaxSnacks 0
It's incredibly special, just like you :) In a good way, lmao. Duuuuuude I love funyons. The chip not the dude.
MaxSnacks 0
How about Walter the wall fish? O.o
LexaDear 0
but she's magenta/rainbow. If that made those shots I would get one mhm. I am special :D I love the d00d funyons :o but you can't see I said that ;)
mmmfunyons 0
no no. willy walter wonka the wall fishie. and yes funyonsss are bombb.
twinkiee_fml 0
lexadear, you're really pretty (: *just saying*
MaxSnacks 0
What can't I see Wifey? ^.~
pingpongpickle 8
thats clever max!
LexaDear 0
perfect name! you're super pretty Twinkie. exactly wifey, exactly.
MaxSnacks 0
Hell yeah, funyons that's a bomb name. We're keepin that. WWWWF for short.
pingpongpickle 8
oh ha i don't know anything i just talk on the mic while my brother plays
Trickyklown 0
I shall invent the shot then!! And for the name how about uhm Jeda the magical wall fish of Fishytopia? i've been to Fishytopia soooo many fishes!
MaxSnacks 0
Aha, aight guys, Im out for the night. Ttyt. <3 u wifey. ~.^
mmmfunyons 0
and he works in a tuna chocolate factory under the sea next to the Krustyy krab and he visits spongebob on lunch break.
twinkiee_fml 0
thx
LexaDear 0
I needthat shot badly. I like funyons better(: good night wifey!<3
OMGJASMiNE 0
I won't kill yu Im soooooooooooooooooo scared of clowns!(x one time my dad told a clown to wake me up so I can get "over my fear" n cried my eyes out/: bad daddy/:
pingpongpickle 8
dangit .someone should help me find my phone and my laptop and all my other crap.who's in? :)
LexaDear 0
clowns freak me out soo badly. my little fish will be so succesful :')
Trickyklown 0
Funyon's name is pretty awesome lol! And there will be a shot to cure allergies of clowns! And maybe one day we will have a cure for fish aids, if you haven't already you guys should donate for the cause! Jasmine I wouldn't harm ya :D I'm a nice clown but I know how it is to have phobias! Your dad shouldn't have done that sounds like it made it worse! D:
jessiepie 0
Hey guys! I got banned..
mmmfunyons 0
yes you should be very proud of willy walter wonka the wall fishie :'D
pingpongpickle 8
that fish sounds pretty G
OMGJASMiNE 0
he did! && he keeps saying he'll find a way to get " rid of it" (my fear) Im glad he trys cuz it means he cares :D but they just scare me more........ I haven't told him.... I think it would hurt his feelings/:
LexaDear 0
Idk why they scare me. I'm oh so proud of him/her. tranny?
Trickyklown 0
You'll get over it sooner or later! Surprisingly clowns are a very common fear next to being afraid of the dark. I have a phobia of heights! I'm scares that Ima fall and like break my neck or something. >.<
mmmfunyons 0
your fishie's sex is still unknown but 2mrow spongebob is gunna try and make a move on it. We'll see how it goes
superbadd 0
I am scared of clowns.. badly
LexaDear 0
well i hope my fish is a boy then. Spongebob needs a new boyfriend. Patrick isn't working out I heard :/ maybe it's a hermaphrodite, lady gaga?! :o I kid, I kid.
OMGJASMiNE 0
awhh
Trickyklown 0
#163 You have a cute smile, girls with braces are really cute ^~^. I'm sure your fear will go away :D or do what I use to do and punch them in the face. Idk if that would work but it worked when I was younger. Lmao
pingpongpickle 8
guys i don't think sponges and fish go together :/ but i would love too see that! thanks uni you're so helpful :)i think i lost my car keys too, thats gona suckk
RobF11 0
bummer
superbadd 0
169 haha bet I won't punch one xD and thnx
LexaDear 0
let there love be >:o
LexaDear 0
...as in my wife Jessie??
mmmfunyons 0
hopefully it's a girl. She'd be my type
Trickyklown 0
Lol well it was just a harmless thought. ;D and you're very welcome lass! Also are those kissing brackets on your arms? I use to do that in middle school xD well alot of people did but it was pretty said cause no one kissed anyone if they broke it. Kinda like a useless fad. lmao
OMGJASMiNE 0
yes let the love bee
LexaDear 0
I can hook it up for you :) by the time I was in middle school, when people would break them, they were out of style.
superbadd 0
184 yeah but i stopped doing that ever since a teacher grabbed my wrist and the black broke in 7th grade, everyone started laughing xP
jessiepie 0
Yep Jessie as in Ms_Jessie22. Being banned sucks. I feel like an outlaw. Although I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. :P
LexaDear 0
that'd be hella awkward. i still have like 100 of them. they're cute haha.
pingpongpickle 8
yes i just did a major search and i found everything!! haha and now time for bed night everyone
LexaDear 0
my wifeeey! oh noes!
superbadd 0
it was very awkward, especially since the teacher knew what they meant, he was like I'm so so sorry! and I was like O_O
LexaDear 0
Gross.
Trickyklown 0
Yeah I have seen alot of fads come and go in my days of schooling lol. (I'm not an old geezer though) Oh well! Lol that is a pretty funny story! I remember when yo-yos were the shiz in elementry school! So much fun, but then in middle school people called me a nerd! D:
LexaDear 0
in elementary, tamagotchis were the shit, but I was G because I had the ones from 1997. Noe it's sillybandz, which I have a shit load of. they're lame, but I love em :)
superbadd 0
gawd my brother is OBSESSED with yo-yos he's a 4th grader he's like look look! I'm like didn't u show me two minutes ago?!
Trickyklown 0
I had a tomagotchi but it always died! So then I got an old school Digivice which was like a tomagotchi but cooler? xD I remember having the limited edition Jurassic Park one! And my little bro is the same way!
superbadd 0
lmfao
OMGJASMiNE 0
yo yoz(:
Trickyklown 0
lmao #209 I just saw that movie today!!
jessiepie 0
Lexa- I missed you wifey! And yep, that's me! The attention *****
LexaDear 0
I was amazing at keeping them alive.
superbadd 0
I got my brother a yo-yo and I didn't see him for the rest of the day, and the house was quiet it was pretty sweete
LexaDear 0
I missed you too!<3
Trickyklown 0
Lol I was horrible at it seeing as I neglected it most of the day while I play my video juegos! And Superbad I know that sweet sound of nothing when siblings aren't loud and annoying! xD
jessiepie 0
:(
superbadd 0
congrats unicorn
LexaDear 0
Alexa can't do them :(
Trickyklown 0
Well time for the Klown to go mimiz! Good night fml!! Have fun reading peoples misfortune!
superbadd 0
Np, so unicorn how exactly do u type since, u r a unicorn?
LexaDear 0
goodnight my dear clown wife.
superbadd 0
nighty night clown :D
superbadd 0
well that's badass, do u know Charlie the unicorn?!?
LexaDear 0
it seems as if everyones sleeping.
LexaDear 0
I always stay up this late :) gotta love summer. oh yeah you live in arizona too!
jessiepie 0
Well I doubt Ms_Jessie22 is inappropriate. Unless they called me Ms Becky again..
superbadd 0
4:24 in texas.... did u help plan candy mountain?! if u did ur a genius!
jessiepie 0
Oh nothing. It was just referencing the song Becky by Plies which is about bjs. So that could be considered "inappropriate" I suppose.
superbadd 0
yes, it is very evil, if it was actually candy without the evil i might wanna find it xD
LexaDear 0
oh look, someone trying to be a hard ass by being mean to me and jasmine :) apparently I'm 12 now. I magically became 2 years younger I guess. Awesome.
greggiee 0
let's hope it was a colored pen.
OMGJASMiNE 0
go loom at what I told that person(:
OMGJASMiNE 0
I mean look hehe!(x
LexaDear 0
some douchebag.
jessiepie 0
But it wasn't my name. Someone said repeatedly that I should change my name to that.
LexaDear 0
gregs a cutie!
superbadd 0
257 yeah thts true... oh well no candy for Emily(me)
superbadd 0
haha yummy... imma go to sleep nowz so night every1
LexaDear 0
Seriously that chicks pissing me off.
LexaDear 0
On the fml under this one. she's being all bitchy to me and jasmine.
LexaDear 0
I know o.e
AlabamaSnowplow 0
hey look at the bright side, at least he didnt use it for a lighter tester... for the slow ones, im talking about burning it.
LexaDear 0
sooo the other fml deleted...
OMGJASMiNE 0
heyy every one Im sorry:/
LexaDear 0
I like how she hated on me, then she said she didn't have a problem with me.
OMGJASMiNE 0
yea && she said she smoked pot but then told me she doesn't do drugz?
LexaDear 0
I know. WTF. let's continuing on another post so i don't have to keep going to the next page :P
mustardcat 1
it's all in the paper! hard earned paper good to scribble on
metalcrue 0
my dad wanted to test his pen so I gots ungraduated!!!
Bertj 5
I thank thee, Lexa :D
jaidonsafira 0
Looks like 15 is doing the same thing he's bashing. Kudos Mr. Hypocrite.
eazyeeze 0
Your dad's mouth would be a great place to piss in. Try it tonight OP, just aim and relieve
PurpleLlamas 0
"i dont sit around all day on my computer being a smart ass and insulting people..." umm yes you did you just called a bunch of people attention ****** smart one...
SilenNex 0
burn him, just burn him
darkerkiller89 0
if they didnt thats a waste of a deploma
marylovesyou8D 7
17 is cute. (:
fakeaccountX 6
#1 I read that as "did his penis work"
Sub_Zero_is_God 13
fed*
OMGJASMiNE 0
how sad:(
JesseJaymz 0
decide his face makes a good pin cushion
VvCJHvV 6
Well with those genes looks like you won't be needing it after all.
boredatwork11 2
it's ok, you don't need a diploma to work at mcdonalds.
superbadd 0
mcdonalds workers where I live look like crackheads :P
jrkarikas 0
haha in my town it's the wall mart workers who do the pot
JeSuisUnePoulet 0
what kind of diploma was it? these details count.
penflower 0
so he colored on your preschool diploma. big deal. :D
too_dope 0
which pen did he choose as the winner ? (:
roverboy1337 0
14, you're hot as ****.
OMGJASMiNE 0
pretty smile14(: (x
tyler3 0
lol that sucks. I would kick his ass if I was you lol
wonder_wizard 10
No you wouldn't
texaschic93 0
if it is your highschool diploma...honestly...no company cares...
murdersquirrel 15
Not true. I had to have my actual high school diploma to apply for a 911 operator job.