Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML
Today, while crying at my grandma's funeral, I was told to "man up". FML
Today, I was mourning the recent loss of a close family member. My ex's idea of comforting me was to ask if he could come over so I could “give him some bomb ass head” to take my mind off things. FML
Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML
Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML
Today, my English teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet, I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML
Today, at the end of my great grandmother's funeral, her daughter (my grandma) told me and my mother that she doesn’t have a reason to come back and visit anymore, and that everyone in her life is now gone. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend's grandparents at church. After 5 minutes of catching up, my ex's frail grandmother asked me when I'm planning on "joining the family". I had to explain to them that their granddaughter had dumped me exactly 2 years before. She cried. FML
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Top comments
Kozmotis 8
At least you had the brains to dump her. You deserve better than that horrible woman. Sorry for the loss of your grandmother. :(
SasaCeceGogo 18
You should say Hand. Door. Out. I'm really sorry OP, she is insensitive. You deserve better. You dodged a grenade!
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Comments (118)
Kozmotis 8
At least you had the brains to dump her. You deserve better than that horrible woman. Sorry for the loss of your grandmother. :(
then000bster 16
If he followed her advice he wouldn't have brains, literally.
mb2_native 15
11, sometimes sarcasm does not work here.. Definitely not right now.
mikailanicole98 11
#11 so you're saying that if he had put a shotgun in his mouth and killed himself, he wouldn't have the brains to dump his ex-girlfriend? Wow well thank you Captain Obvious. I had no idea..
SasaCeceGogo 18
You should say Hand. Door. Out. I'm really sorry OP, she is insensitive. You deserve better. You dodged a grenade!
Nordrag 26
I'm pretty well known amongst my friends for being the dick of the group, but even I wouldn't make a comment like that. That's like a whole higher level of insensitivity.
MisterImpetus 7
Relationship, Dumpster, Blam
dalink 24
Horse tranquilizer, Saran Wrap, industrial grade plastic sheets, cold metal table, many sharp instruments, a bone saw, a microscope slide, rubber boots and apron, garbage bags, a boat, and a copy of season 1 of Dexter. Blam! Problem solved.
ZombieInConverse 13
Asshole. Go get yourself a better girlfriend. Nobody deserves that.
badgirl00069 19
op I wouldn't listen to someone who is clearly off her rocker .. keep ur head up life us hard people we love die its a part of life remember the good times and let her rest. she's the lucky one u know the one who doesn't have to suffer feel no pain or heart ache any more take it one day at a time and just keep on keeping on cause I'm sure that's what ur grandmother would want
ryanmanning 3
If you took the time to correctly use apostrophes and write every other word out, why not just write "you" or "your"
MzZombicidal 36
#4, please use punctuation next time. I enjoyed this comment very much, it was just difficult to read and I feel that took away from the sincerity of it.
jessBeAqueen 13
as long as she didnt specify whos mouth ;)
MidnaLink 35
Nice. Illegal, but nice.
SMHsohard 22
Shameful how some people are so self centered that they can't relate on a basic emotional level. Sorry for the loss of your grandmother, glad you were able to cut the inconsiderate wench loose. You deserve better.
kewpiesuicide 29
She could have Aspergers. In which case she's not self centered, she's socially retarded.
SMHsohard 22
You know, it's getting much too easy to blame ass behavior on the Autism Spectrum. Face it, some people are just self centered, inconsiderate twats.
Rababco 29
@87 1. I'm pretty sure there'd be other signs if she had Aspergers/Autism 2. Even Sheldon Cooper and Sherlock Holmes have more tact than that 3. There's a big difference between being a bit insensitive or inconsiderate and what OP's girlfriend said/did 4. People with Aspergers actually are often more intelligent than most people so using the term retarded is kind of ironic
sexyboi1985 27
Did u bash her ?
DocBastard 40
You response should have been, "Whose mouth? Yours?" ******* twat.
redbandit9877 12
Sorry for your loss, but even if she is your ex, it takes a somewhat cruel person to suggest suicide to cope with a death. She sounds like a real charmer.
AshleyScruggs 14
OP said "now ex-girlfriend" implying that she was still his girlfriend when she made the comment.
k_lylepad 19
Wow..insensitive much?