Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML
Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put him outside. Unhappy with the situation, he leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile-vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML
Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML
Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CitrusGirl 0
That cat's a pussy.
aryan_chris 0
Toasters a new weapon for murder now. What is the world coming to...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (296)
elisababyxo 0
lmfao im sry but it made me laugh, it died cuz of toast poppin out ^-^ ahh mann funny shit but rly im sry for ur loss.
isaiaha11 2
79 is a win
ahriel 0
lol, smartass
ahriel 0
yeah me too, I never expect it to pop, and when I do expect it, it doesn't pop.. then 2 secs later it pops and scares the hell out of me. LOL
FriscoKidz 10
You should if warned him first.
ahhitsjessi88 0
how do you know thats the reason he died tho...... ??????????
twirlingqueen4u 0
maybe he should take over the company name. ;)
twirlingqueen4u 0
#29. Maybeeee you should take over the company name. bimbo!
rebecca_k 0
I look up to you ^.^
xoxoallykinzxoxo 0
how???