Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML
Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML
Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML
Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML
Today, upon getting the paperwork for my Court Diversion, I found out I had to write an apology letter to my brother. The brother who sent me to jail for trying to get him to stop abusing his girlfriend, and holding him instead of fighting when he charged at me. FML
Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML
Today, I prevented my brother from attending our sister's funeral, since they hated each other and she didn't want him there, in accordance with her wishes. Now the whole family hates me and say that I should have let him in and that sometimes, you have to go against someone's wishes. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
Today, I'm right now comforting my 21-year-old brother, after we'd called the cops because a mugger stabbed one of my brother's friends while the three of us were on the street. Kudos to the police, who left us waiting in the line for more than 50 minutes, letting an innocent die, and allowing a scumbag to escape. FML
Today, my seemingly innocent younger brother showed our family a video of what he was doing last night when he skipped New Student Orientation. He's been in college all of 48 hours and he's already joined a fight club. FML
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Top comments
laden_swallow09 35
I wouldn't even bother with his bail. I'd go for a visit, but I wouldn't bail my own brother out of jail for something especially like that.
untouchable763 10
Wedding Crashing has become more extreme these days eh.
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Comments (108)
KnnNike 2
Why would you, amongst all of the words you used in that statement, choose to censor "ass"?
Sirin_fml 47
You really ought to learn some British English sometime. The fact that you used the typically British "amongst" instead of the more American "among" shows that you already have a nice head-start!
brendan2662 3
Out of the frase ******* dumb arse you choose to change the word ass to arse
noelasis94 18
There goes my hero watch him as he goes
cougar41 8
Should have left him there what he's doing is seriously wrong
mollyjbear23 10
So he's like a real life funeral crasher? I didn't think those actually existed!
israelnotjacob 20
I sure as hell hope you don't have children. That whole logic of standing by someone who's doing something awful because they're still family is ridiculous when you take it to that extent. No in many cases the best thing you can do for them is not help. That's called tough love, and any person who can be a responsible parent has to learn that. If you bail family out every time they're being retarded they'll never learn. If anything that only encourages the idiotic behavior because it tells them they always have a fail safe if anything like this happens again. They won't have to worry about any consequences because they'll know you'll cover them on that. Yes I would still love them and treat them like family, but I would absolutely let them pay a price for their poor decisions. Sometimes that's the only way they'll ever learn.
Ibeatmyself 3
I'd leave him in jail for copying a movie what an idiot
someguy314159265 15
Next time, don't bail him out of prison. Let him learn his lesson.
stephkristine 13
I gotta know, did his back story work? Or even at least make sense?
wellhungwhiteman 3
I'm a ******* dumb arse.