Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML
Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML
Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML
Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML
Today, upon getting the paperwork for my Court Diversion, I found out I had to write an apology letter to my brother. The brother who sent me to jail for trying to get him to stop abusing his girlfriend, and holding him instead of fighting when he charged at me. FML
Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML
Today, I prevented my brother from attending our sister's funeral, since they hated each other and she didn't want him there, in accordance with her wishes. Now the whole family hates me and say that I should have let him in and that sometimes, you have to go against someone's wishes. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
Today, I'm right now comforting my 21-year-old brother, after we'd called the cops because a mugger stabbed one of my brother's friends while the three of us were on the street. Kudos to the police, who left us waiting in the line for more than 50 minutes, letting an innocent die, and allowing a scumbag to escape. FML
Today, my seemingly innocent younger brother showed our family a video of what he was doing last night when he skipped New Student Orientation. He's been in college all of 48 hours and he's already joined a fight club. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
laden_swallow09 35
I wouldn't even bother with his bail. I'd go for a visit, but I wouldn't bail my own brother out of jail for something especially like that.
untouchable763 10
Wedding Crashing has become more extreme these days eh.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
mcar 13
I guess he took a page from Barneys play book.
israelnotjacob 20
The answer to your question is YOU ARE THE PATHETIC ONE. And you're a moron. I don't care if it's immediate family, if any of my siblings did something that stupid they'd be spending a few days in jail. In fact I'd go out of my way to make sure nobody else in the family caved and bailed them out. You do something that effing moronic you need to be in jail for at least a few days and think about how truly idiotic you are.
buckdharma 38
Let me get this straight. He went to a wake, on the make, and wound up in a cell? When he meets his maker, this bereavement faker should go straight to hell!
Satoaoi 13
should of left him there. he'll get a hook up but not one he would of liked
Acik91 26
Come on, guys, this is OP's brother. Moronic, stupid, cruel, but still - a family. It's not that easy not to bail out a family, I guess; people are doing worse things and get bailed out. That said - I think some serious conversation is necessary. Possibly a punch in the face as well.
beanthemouse 13
Next time, do not bail him out. Jail is where he belongs.
ittybitttyme 8
Leave his ass in jail!!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
There are limits to what you owe your family. These bonds should not force you to help adults who put themselves in such ridiculous situations. The best he can do is leave his brother in jail to teach him a lesson and make him grow up a bit. Honestly, taking advantage of people's grief so he can score some ass? He probably saw that on Wedding Crashers and thought it would be funny to emulate. The guy is an insensitive childish idiot.
misslifeguard 7
I would leave him in jail
Kitten_Calderon 14
Don't Keep bailing him out. He obviously has no respect for people because you keep doing that.. May not be totally your fault but you do need to not come to his rescue always. Crashing a funeral is worse than a wedding.