Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML
Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML
Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML
Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML
Today, upon getting the paperwork for my Court Diversion, I found out I had to write an apology letter to my brother. The brother who sent me to jail for trying to get him to stop abusing his girlfriend, and holding him instead of fighting when he charged at me. FML
Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML
Today, I prevented my brother from attending our sister's funeral, since they hated each other and she didn't want him there, in accordance with her wishes. Now the whole family hates me and say that I should have let him in and that sometimes, you have to go against someone's wishes. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
Today, I'm right now comforting my 21-year-old brother, after we'd called the cops because a mugger stabbed one of my brother's friends while the three of us were on the street. Kudos to the police, who left us waiting in the line for more than 50 minutes, letting an innocent die, and allowing a scumbag to escape. FML
Today, my seemingly innocent younger brother showed our family a video of what he was doing last night when he skipped New Student Orientation. He's been in college all of 48 hours and he's already joined a fight club. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
laden_swallow09 35
I wouldn't even bother with his bail. I'd go for a visit, but I wouldn't bail my own brother out of jail for something especially like that.
untouchable763 10
Wedding Crashing has become more extreme these days eh.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
laden_swallow09 35
I wouldn't even bother with his bail. I'd go for a visit, but I wouldn't bail my own brother out of jail for something especially like that.
lilhellian 27
Why even bother visiting..
Alleged_Cranium 7
To laugh at him.
oj101 33
#1 - Isaiah 55:6-7 “Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. Lol, just kidding. His dumb ass should stay right there in jail, where it belongs. He's sure to find a sexual partner easily.
FinJage 18
Exactly, every time OP bails him out, he is just encouraged to do it again.
xx000o 27
OP probably eats the bail money too.
untouchable763 10
Wedding Crashing has become more extreme these days eh.
Brandonep 13
It's the sequel: "Funeral Crashers"
biggestfan23 11
#40 you haven't seen the end of Wedding Crashers have you?
oj101 33
I actually had no idea that people even did these things in real life. Minus 200 points for faith in humanity. Which means we still are at negative infinity.
oj101 33
#57 - By the looks of things, your gaping hole of a mouth. Ribbet.
Brandonep 13
41- Only seen parts of it, still gotta get around to watching the whole movie.
aKaClickZ 4
Will Ferrel is a bad influence.
aKaClickZ 4
Will Ferrell is a bad influence.*
netsirkylime2 9
I totally forgot about that movie... Hahaha
upsidedownfrownn 5
That pizza looks delicious... Mmmm
BubbleGrunge 18
What kinda cum guzzel crashes a funeral?
LO388 7
Chaz.
CheeseTron 15
West Baptist church
GothickNihilist 15
OPs brother.
lilhellian 27
12 It's Westboro Baptist.. And they're worse than cum guzzlers..
ICastillo 25
Those freaking sperm dumpsters.
laden_swallow09 35
With sperm guzzlers, they'll actually make you feel relieved after you've left them. Those people in Westboro on the other hand are a blight to Christianity and the entire human race. When the KKK hates you and you, too, are white, there's something definitely wrong. No, I'm not talking about interracial couples, either.
GothickNihilist 15
I think people who take advantage of others during a time of bereavement are despicable. The fact that you bailed your asscandle of a brother out is a YDI. I hope your brother matures and realizes, that his behaviour is completely inappropriate. Next time don't bail him out, let him learn the consequences of his actions.
chellytiger 12
Asscandle? Really bro?! Really!
crudeandrudeguy 29
97- Your photo is essentially nothing but your **** and you think the word asscandle is an issue?
t_Wag13 7
I would leave his ass in jail for being a prick.
Kalipczo 21
He sounds like a tool.. Ruin his chances if he ever brings home any girls from said funerals by trashing his reputation.
BellaBelle_fml 23
I'm pretty sure that OP's brother does not need any help in trashing his reputation as he is doing a fine job of it himself.
danial1214 21
I would make him apologize to the mourners and make him pay you back the bail money.
Say_Hey22 6
Has he been watching the show "Misfits"?
NeDaroft 5
RUDY.
zero91 4
i think he watched weddling crashers
SweetasCandy0609 28
I get that he's you're brother but he needs to take responsibility for what he did you should of just left him in there to think about what he did to put himself in there in their first place.