Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML
Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML
Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML
Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML
Today, upon getting the paperwork for my Court Diversion, I found out I had to write an apology letter to my brother. The brother who sent me to jail for trying to get him to stop abusing his girlfriend, and holding him instead of fighting when he charged at me. FML
Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML
Today, I prevented my brother from attending our sister's funeral, since they hated each other and she didn't want him there, in accordance with her wishes. Now the whole family hates me and say that I should have let him in and that sometimes, you have to go against someone's wishes. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
Today, I'm right now comforting my 21-year-old brother, after we'd called the cops because a mugger stabbed one of my brother's friends while the three of us were on the street. Kudos to the police, who left us waiting in the line for more than 50 minutes, letting an innocent die, and allowing a scumbag to escape. FML
Today, my seemingly innocent younger brother showed our family a video of what he was doing last night when he skipped New Student Orientation. He's been in college all of 48 hours and he's already joined a fight club. FML
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Top comments
laden_swallow09 35
I wouldn't even bother with his bail. I'd go for a visit, but I wouldn't bail my own brother out of jail for something especially like that.
untouchable763 10
Wedding Crashing has become more extreme these days eh.
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Comments (108)
buddy51 23
The bereaved are always suckers for drunken funeral crashing moronic fist-fighting strangers! What a genius your brother is!!
Pandora_UK 7
Your brother is a prize asshole OP, and one without any respect for anyone but himself at that. If there is a next time, ignore him - he doesn't deserve anyone's help apart from possibly that of a psychiatrist...
stewpididiot 11
YOU !!
HeYHiTmEUp 2
So saying ******* is ok but not arse hahahaha
thefullmonty1 11
What the heck?? Sorry but your brother sounds awful, don't bail him out of jail, let him learn from his punishments! Also I've heard of funeral crashers, I genuinely don't get why they do it!
SwtCherryPie 26
Let him learn from his mistakes or he'll just keep being a dumbass.
sarah2144 14
Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac. That's what I've learned. MA THE MEATLOAF! ****!
gregkingsley 4
It doesn't even work anyway.
Atchoo 8
I'm gonna say you're the pathetic one. He may be an idiot, but you're an enabler.
alomo19 7
Are you sure your brother isn't Barney Stinson?