Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML
Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML
Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML
Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML
Today, upon getting the paperwork for my Court Diversion, I found out I had to write an apology letter to my brother. The brother who sent me to jail for trying to get him to stop abusing his girlfriend, and holding him instead of fighting when he charged at me. FML
Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML
Today, I prevented my brother from attending our sister's funeral, since they hated each other and she didn't want him there, in accordance with her wishes. Now the whole family hates me and say that I should have let him in and that sometimes, you have to go against someone's wishes. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
Today, I'm right now comforting my 21-year-old brother, after we'd called the cops because a mugger stabbed one of my brother's friends while the three of us were on the street. Kudos to the police, who left us waiting in the line for more than 50 minutes, letting an innocent die, and allowing a scumbag to escape. FML
Today, my seemingly innocent younger brother showed our family a video of what he was doing last night when he skipped New Student Orientation. He's been in college all of 48 hours and he's already joined a fight club. FML
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Top comments
laden_swallow09 35
I wouldn't even bother with his bail. I'd go for a visit, but I wouldn't bail my own brother out of jail for something especially like that.
untouchable763 10
Wedding Crashing has become more extreme these days eh.
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Comments (108)
shutupAnderson 7
You should've let him hook up with his fellow cell mates.
savannahfml 5
ass*
Reaper1984 13
is it awkward that I was watching wedding crashers when I read this fml
Shadow_Phantom 26
Why the hell would anybody want to date some jackass who starts fights at funerals to crash them? Sigh.
PhishloverA 14
Is there going to be a movie called Funeral Crashers starring him?
gracehi 33
You bailed him out so you could punch him in his stupid face without any witnesses, right?
vbmg152 19
You're both low lifes! Him for what he's doing, you for bailing him out!
Ameel_fml 19
I didn't know funeral crashing was actually a thing. Who the hell wants to **** some random creeper who thinks its acceptable to rock up at your loved-one's funeral to flirt with the mourners?
outoftown 27
So blood was thicker that douchebaggery -- this time. FYL and YDI. He owes you the bail money and a sincere apology. You owe him a promise to not contribute to his douchebaggery by bailing him out of his messes. Best of luck, OP. You'll need it.
redmnky21 8
my votes on u... why would you bail him out after he did something stupid, let him sit in jail