Today, I was called a ruthless bitch for not waking up early to search for my car keys, so my boyfriend could go get his pipe and get high before work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was running late for work. I was trying to find my car keys, then realized I'd left them in my boyfriend's car. My phone charger was locked in my car, and my phone was dead. I couldn’t get hold of my boss and explain what had happened. I’m fired, aren’t I? FML
Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML
Not a morning person
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML
Red flags all over the place
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML
Today, I was bitched out at 2 a.m. by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML
Drunk dick
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Short nap
Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML
So you had a bad day…
Today, I woke up early for work and spent 30 minutes frantically looking for my keys. I had to take a 30-minute Uber ride to work, then drove an hour in the company truck, only to be stood up. FML
Drunken lout
Today, I learned a co-worker called and awoke my boss at 3 a.m. to complain that I'd been "rude" to him. All I'd done was make a disapproving face because he'd been drinking and he was slobbering drunk, and wanted to charge his purchase to his employee account, a definite no-no when not on the clock. FML
Top comments
zilfy 17
How can you even stand someone like this?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Real respectful boyfriend you got there.
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Comments (144)
Medieval_Unicorn 24
Don't do kids, drugs
LilMissCanadian 22
Oh my gosh I read that wrong and I had a mind spasm when I realized what it actually said... it is incredible what switching words can do to you
TrilexStoner 6
What's wrong with drugs?
Alittleghosty 3
most things
cturtle 2
There's nothing wrong with doing drugs, just don't be a complete asshole of a boyfriend.
nyf137 20
There are more than a few things wrong with doing drugs...
ShowMeKay 20
#25 and #104 - Both of you need to go watch Breaking Bad.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
The only thing wrong with marijuana is that it's illegal. I'm not saying it's bad for you or anything, but if you are found with it you can get arrested and if you're drug tested and found with it in your system you can get fired. Sure, there's nothing wrong with it. But I wouldn't want to be with someone who smokes/grows/sells pot because it's illegal. When/if it's legalized, then I will have no problem with it. That's the only problem with weed: the illegality of it.
kayayye 22
you should dump him just for doing drugs
rileyrae0000 23
Assuming this is talking about weed since it references a pipe, and I doubt someone using a crack pipe is going to work early in the morning, weed is not a reason to dump someone. It is used MEDICALLY and helps a lot of people start their day. Also even non medically, what's the problem?
Noelletakumi 36
The problem is, the boyfriend puts drugs before OP's well being. I'd say that's pretty break-up worthy.
beeferjay 34
drugs r bad, mmmkay cannabis is not a drug though
Benpie 22
Weed is illegal...
chrisbeaudoin 26
Don't dump someone just cause they do drugs, that's quite stupid, in op's case yes i would dump them, this is the same with a lot of other things like, religion, lifestyles, if they are putting it before you and making you start it or something like that it's stupid and they are selfish
DaRito 25
No, weed definitely shouldn't be illegal, but OP's boyfriend did put his weed before his girlfriend and then called her a bitch. That's pretty breakup-worthy.
Alittleghosty 3
yep cuz drugs lead to a life of abuse
JackDupp 11
"it helps a lot of people start their day" - let's hope those people aren't doing things like surgery or driving an 18 wheeler or flying a plane. There are certain occupations we'd rather not have people doing while stoned.
phoenixx22 15
Anything that alters your body's homeostasis is a drug. No not all the right drugs are legal or illegal. However, you cannot say something is not a drug when it clearly is. How harmful it is to your body or not, is not what makes it a drug.
beeferjay 34
then technically love is a drug and hate is a drug and to have such a closed minded view is no bueno
Soninuva 41
It kind of sounds like you're on drugs, if that's your logic. Let me spell it out for you: a drug is any physical substance not produced by the body which is introduced into one's body, (whether it is injected, inhaled, consumed, or otherwise made to enter one's system) that causes a change in the body's current state, either physically or mentally. Emotions are not introduced externally, they are the product of various amounts of different neurotransmitters being released, or the prevention of their re-uptake, often due to some form of external stimuli. So no, love and hate are not drugs.
angel79_fml 5
I think I've had enough internet for a while. After reading several of these comments I feel like offing myself with the direction this generation is going. Weed Is illegal unless prescribed. All of you smoking it do us the world a favor go to the local cancer center watch someone go thru chemo therapy or radiation and need a way to relax their selves after their treatments because their body is rejecting all other medication and need the cannabis to relax let alone sleep. One day soon again they won't be able to because people abuse it. If that doesn't work how about the kids who are having seizures and need 20 different medicines to even stay alive forget talking or feeding themselves let alone using the restroom, the cannabis helps them function and be able to be free. It was legalized for these reasons not for people who can't deal with the real world and grow up. If you can fully function work full time and take care of your bills fine so be it but if it hinders you from being a human being and not abusing others physically, emotionally or verbally then you shouldn't be doing it.
leogachi 15
@23 Cannabis is a drug. Whether you think it's harmful or not won't change its classification as a drug.
iAlissa 34
Here in Colorado it isn't illegal. And there's perks - Colorado as a state is entirely out of debt because of revenue. Anyways, he sounds like a shitbag. I agree on the breaking up thing
ladycoco8 20
Weed seems like a perfectly capable reason for me to dump someone.
DoomedGemini 38
If someone does drugs and someone is against them, he's its a reasonable reason to break up. However doing drugs, especially weed, does NOT make someone a bad person. I know many pot smokers and they are fine. It's when a person puts it above everything else or something like that when it becomes a problem.
beeferjay 34
the things love does to the brain is similar to taking narcotics, Google it. I take chemicals for spinal stenosis and glaucoma and neuropathy. I would rather use something that came from my back yard shed than some chemicals peddled by evil pharma companies. but because some politicians were bought years ago, they perpetuate a "wrongful war on drugs" it's no secret that the CIA runs the drug cartels and uses that money to fund clandestine operations. google that too. so this system must go
higgysaurus 18
#66 I get the point you are making, but saying weed is a drug isn't a close minded view, its a fact. And yes l see your point, in that emotions can alter homeostasis, but to be specific, a drug is any substance that has physiological effects on the body, ingested or introduced to the body from an outside source. Which is how weed is classified as a drug.
fmlashl 13
I bet the same people who say Marijuana isn't a drug don't know that caffeine is a drug, too.
C_Ramirez1695 12
Not in Canada, if you'd care to see where this was posted from.
lil_ham1644 29
I love my boyfriend more than anything, but if he ever started doing any sort of drug including cigarettes, I would consider ending it if he didn't want to quit. I've had too many family members die of lung cancer.
cturtle 2
Caffeine is a drug. Alcohol is a drug. There's nothing wrong with smoking a little pot. You can do drugs and not be a total prick like this guy.
nyf137 20
Doesn't change the fact that many people feel that recreational drugs (including weed) are wrong and don't want to engage in a relationship with someone who does then they are completely entitled to their own opinion. And to those who say weed isn't a drug, YES, it is. Along with alcohol and caffeine, which someone else stated as well. Something doesn't have to be illegal to be a drug.
johannah1031 17
not where i live!
higgysaurus 18
For the record, uh marijuana the plant does not contain any carcinogens, and hasn't been shown to cause any sort of cancer, in fact doing quite the opposite with the proper administration of hash oil leading to tumor remission. #50 to say that the reason it isn't medically legal, is because its "abused" by those who "refuse to grow up" is completely and utter bullshit. If you haven't noticed, people are afraid of things that other people tell them to fear. So you have a bunch of half-informed monkeys throwing shit at a wall and praying that it keeps weed and honestly all drugs illegalized while anyone with a brain can tell that the war on drugs is a waste of money. If you want to smoke crack, you will find a way to smoke crack, whether its legal or not. Open up your ears and actually read facts on marijuana and THC and then make an informed argument, instead of pulling some half-cocked bullshit against the stoners who exhibit signs of laziness, trust me the weed didnt make them lazy.
zilfy 17
How can you even stand someone like this?
A07 48
Yeah OP you should sit down for a minute
JohnEvans 3
Do drugs kids!
XxDanno316xX 27
You sir, are an ass.
BlackBoyFly 11
Or... Just Don't?
nyf137 20
That's an absolutely disgusting thing to say... I sincerely hope you aren't being serious
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Real respectful boyfriend you got there.
KillerCheez 2
Classic girl dating an idiot/asshole. Next...
Candied_person 13
What drug If pot not that bad
ChopSuey444 20
So what kind of drug it is determines whether or not its reasonable to yell at your girlfriend for not helping you get high? Okay.
cowboyroy45 10
"If pot not that bad" Were you high when you typed that?
C_Ramirez1695 12
Oh my god. The op posted this FML from Canada where weed is prescribed. Maybe he has a prescription for it and he felt he needed it that morning. None of us know what the situation is we only know what the OP has told us. Don't be too quick to judge.
aspecialspecial 21
Well /if/ there is more info then maybe it doesn't mater? As these reactions are /quite/ reasonable biased off the available information
Raquel00 5
In my country he would spend the night in jail just for calling you that. I don't understand why would anyone put up with a case of psychological abuse
rileyrae0000 23
That's the stupidest thing. Put in jail for calling someone a name? Do you live in some sort of fascist country
DaRito 25
I'm really curious to know what country you live in, though curbing freedom of speech in the name of people's feelings seems to be a common trend these days.
rvontr88 21
if anyone chose to investigate, they live in Spain. I doubt they really jail someone for name calling.
Raquel00 5
They do ;) turns out you're talking to a lawyer. It's considered psychological abuse towards your partner, and yes, you would spend the night in jail until a judge decides whether to establish a restraining order or a different measure. Laws regarding any type of domestic violence are very strict.
Vindogg71 9
That's your man! You must be very proud.
LilMissCanadian 22
Dump him and find a guy that's more respectful than THAT.