Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, it’s Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend promised me that instead of a packed chain restaurant we would have “dinner under the stars.” We ended up having Slurpees and Slim Jims in the 7-Eleven parking lot. He called me ungrateful for not appreciating his “romantic gesture.” FML
Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my husband spent all day promising me romance and a good dicking. Instead, his boss hit him with emergency overtime, our romance was defrosted lasagna, and he fell asleep during the dicking so I had to crawl out from under him and watch TV alone. I hate his boss. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, I made a heart-shaped pancake for my girlfriend as a surprise Valentine's Day breakfast. I flipped it too hard, and it landed on my cat. The cat then ran around the house with a pancake cape, and the surprise was ruined by the cat bolting into the bedroom, waking my girlfriend up, who's not a morning person at the best of times. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
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Top comments
hoolie06 0
So you couldn't have sex afterwards or before?
aricTB 0
pancakes! yay
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Comments (122)
ModernWarfare3_fml 0
lmfao
angelabake 0
hgjt
MadaZer0 8
MW3 FTW btw why in animes name was my earlier comment deleted?!
Icarus_II 0
Iternational House Of Pancakes I H O P I do believe people with one leg and no wheel-chair dine here
MadaZer0 8
^ This is win
Elizabeth_lyi 0
Hahaha Lol #29
Paradoodle 5
not an FML, it's vary rare to have unlimited delicious pancakes at iHOP lol
Shokz992 0
Why is this an FML? It's not even a MLIA, more like MLIG...
cdogbeastman 0
BEAST-MODE [ON] OFF thats such a fail its a win
bethanysaccount 0
tipical guy. . . .
R3kli3 10
he's weird!
NCGolden 0
sex first then pancakes :3
BadPinkKitty07 0
make a pancake out of his little man.
Gordonhollis 0
Before Snickerdoodle comments and you all make fun of her, can you do me a favor and stop called her a Ginger? I have red hair and it makes me kind of upset when people use the term as an insult. You can go ahead and continue to call her a bitch. I don't care about that. :P
spaceydude 0
Agreed. People shouldn't make fun of gingers. It's not their fault that they have no soul, it's caused by a very tragic disease, gingervitis. How would you feel if someone made fun of you because if a disease that makes you unable to have a soul?
Gordonhollis 0
Ha ha, very funny.
skyshark 0
sure thing Ginger. I bet you had fun during the Kick a Ginger Day at school.
Elizabeth_lyi 0
Ughh Lol at Emogirl
skyshark 0
suck it mod.
skyshark 0
Sucks to be a Ginger! But I hear female Gingers are great in bed.
Sirin_fml 47
Goodbye, Skyshark...
skysharksback 0
so Snickerdoodle can be called a bitch but I can't say Ginger? Sounds like you need to recheck the policy yourself mod.
skysharksbak 0
So you ban an account that has done nothing wrong? Good job mod, way to abuse your powers. Regardless of the name of the account you don't know who it belongs to so your banning an innocent person. You can be sure your abuse of power will be looked into.
Turbolag25 7
What a fatass. Oh shit, I forgot also