Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, it’s Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend promised me that instead of a packed chain restaurant we would have “dinner under the stars.” We ended up having Slurpees and Slim Jims in the 7-Eleven parking lot. He called me ungrateful for not appreciating his “romantic gesture.” FML
Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my husband spent all day promising me romance and a good dicking. Instead, his boss hit him with emergency overtime, our romance was defrosted lasagna, and he fell asleep during the dicking so I had to crawl out from under him and watch TV alone. I hate his boss. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, I made a heart-shaped pancake for my girlfriend as a surprise Valentine's Day breakfast. I flipped it too hard, and it landed on my cat. The cat then ran around the house with a pancake cape, and the surprise was ruined by the cat bolting into the bedroom, waking my girlfriend up, who's not a morning person at the best of times. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
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Top comments
hoolie06 0
So you couldn't have sex afterwards or before?
aricTB 0
pancakes! yay
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Comments (122)
terran0 0
I go with #24
terran0 0
ya I would got for the pankakes u can have sex any other day but unlimmited pancakes for1 day
cmac86 24
shouldn't have sex before marriage, so ydi.
Aggriken 0
hey you, shut up.
ComMed 0
your either ugly or fugly and he is using you bc he is ugly too. but he knows why you two have sex in the dark and figured if I can get pancakes all day, what else can I hav all day
eddieboy1 0
lol... u pathetic !!!
Aggriken 0
Today, I wanted to have sex. My boyfriend decided that food was more important. FML
bunny911 16
seriously? who the f**k wouldn't take pancakes over sex?
spidergirl41 0
Ahh. that sounds wrongly tasty
demoon_fml 7
Omg I can't believe I missed unlimited pancake day at ihop. FML!
champsof07 0
I agree. win.