Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, it’s Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend promised me that instead of a packed chain restaurant we would have “dinner under the stars.” We ended up having Slurpees and Slim Jims in the 7-Eleven parking lot. He called me ungrateful for not appreciating his “romantic gesture.” FML
Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my husband spent all day promising me romance and a good dicking. Instead, his boss hit him with emergency overtime, our romance was defrosted lasagna, and he fell asleep during the dicking so I had to crawl out from under him and watch TV alone. I hate his boss. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, I made a heart-shaped pancake for my girlfriend as a surprise Valentine's Day breakfast. I flipped it too hard, and it landed on my cat. The cat then ran around the house with a pancake cape, and the surprise was ruined by the cat bolting into the bedroom, waking my girlfriend up, who's not a morning person at the best of times. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
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Top comments
hoolie06 0
So you couldn't have sex afterwards or before?
aricTB 0
pancakes! yay
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Comments (122)
perdix 31
Put syrup on your pussy and you can both be happy. My day would have gone: 1. Sex 2. Pancakes 3. If I'm not too bloated, more sex 4. More pancakes 5. Vomit 6. ????? 7. Profit
KurouTenshi 0
I'm watching a tv show about moms killing her kids, I read this and laughed out so hard...the best part was "profit" xD
CallMeHush 1
We never hit 7 on the other list either, he will be pleased.
FockinA 0
wow you must really suck in bed. that's a good idea, try a BJ once in a while.
gohabs21 0
this man has his priorities straight
EpicFMyLife 0
That's because he's obviously not a real man, who would have been thinking Arby's.
aardvarkish 17
see u all at IHOP!
aDerangedStateOf 0
Pancake sex? Best of Both Worlds in One...
sidvoltaire 0
holy shit it is? **** yeah
PhillyFox 0
You can have sex any day. But you can't get unlimited pancakes any day!
pluralbusted 0
unlimited pancakes aren't around forever...
cassdede 0
wow awesome boy friend