Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML
Today, when my boyfriend got home, I told him about how I’d had the worst day with our baby. Without blinking, he told me to say the word and he’d drive to a different city and anonymously surrender our son to a fire station and all our suffering would be over. He was completely serious. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to text him when I got home after driving 40 miles in bad weather from his house back to mine. When I did, he broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML
Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML
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Top comments
Kill_Kayt 5
I think you deserve it for actualy thinking he was completely serious.
SeahorseGuy 7
Be glad, at least he cares if you made it home safe.
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Comments (57)
TheLadyOpal 30
It's sweet that he's asking you to let him know you made it home safely, but I dunno...maybe you'd be better off with someone who would actually bother looking for you should something happen. Just a thought.
AussieChild 22
Who's to say he wouldn't look? It seems fairly obvious to me and the majority of people on here that he was joking
TheLadyOpal 30
Maybe I'm judgmental, but joking about getting a new girlfriend if you went missing just doesn't seem very funny to me, that's all.
AussieChild 22
Really?? I guess it depends on how uptight you are. My fiancé and I joke about things all the time. He'll ask what I'm doing tonight, I'll say "Got my other boyfriend coming over, just the usual." Stuff like that. Perhaps some people can't tell the difference between a joke and reality.
mommykrissy_05 7
What a jerk. Obviously he wants to break up with you but is to small a man to do it. I wouldnt text him now i would wait a few days and text him... Hey babe I am home safe.
AussieChild 22
The guy was obviously teasing. Catch up.
KiddNYC1O 22
Damn. Is this world really coming to an end very soon?
Metallica36176 16
Well, at least he's prepared. I see him also being prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse.
takhay 7
Hahaha, I actually said this exact thing to my girlfriend once, but I was kidding. G/l with that one OP.
djgoreo 12
It's pretty obvious to me that he was teasing.
onorexveritas 24
some boyfriend he is
bobleheadNS 0
Smart man.
definekimi0727 0
Omg dumbass
escobar07 10
That just means he's not a grown man